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Favorite Simpsons quote?

One of my favorites was when he quit drinking for a month as a favor to Marge. When the 30 days were over he said to Marge: (roughly translated from German)

" Marge, send the kids to the neighbors. I´m going to Moe´s and I´ll be **** faced when I come home" L O L !!!!

I also loved the episode where the comet was about to destroy Springfield and he said " At times like this I wish I were a born again Christian" And then they show Rev. Lovejoy running in panic down the street screaming "We´re all going to die............."
 
Homer: Okay, brain. You don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's get through this thing and then I can continue killing you with beer.

Homer's brain: It's a deal.
 
Bart to Lisa " Your gay for Moleman"
Lisa "No your gay for Moleman"
Moleman (sadly) "No one's gay for Moleman"
 
Paraphrasing here: Homer is driving home in heavy fog and rear-ends the car in front of him. He gets out to inspect the damage: "Well at least I got him as good as he got me!" Then the fog clears and we see he's in his own driveway and he crushed Marge's car with his own.
 
Judas Priest said:
I also loved the episode where the comet was about to destroy Springfield and he said " At times like this I wish I were a born again Christian" And then they show Rev. Lovejoy running in panic down the street screaming "We´re all going to die............."
Click to expand...

:banana::banana::banana:
 
Trying is the first step to failing.

Woo Hoo, the Simpsons are going to _______!

Mr. Burns: For god sakes, man. Use an open-faced club. The sand wedge.
Homer: Mmmmm... open-faced club sandwich.

The b-Sharps are performing live on the roof of Moe's Tavern. George Harrison drives by and say's, "eh, its been done before".
 
I love the young homer episode were he is coming his hair and some hair falls in the sink:

"woohoo there is more were that came from"
 
Lisa...."Dad you just don't understand"
Homer...."Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand"

Homer to Bart after Bart's failed attempt to play the guitar...."Things that are hard aren't worth doing, let's go watch TV"
 
Homer at the post office,trying to retrieve his resignation letter before its sent:
(In a sing-song voice) "Hello, I'm Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.."

Clerk: "ok Mr. Burns, what's your first name?"


(again sing-song): "I don't know..."
 
After Homer's last minute tax return goes into the Severe Audit bin, Homer goes to work for the FBI. After taking the job Homer says, "Can you pay me in cash, I got a little tax problem."
 
As Homer races a train to a crossing;

Marge: Are you going to kill us all?

Homer: Or die trying!!!
 
in re: the French
"Cheese-eating surrender monkeys!"

the Duff Beer disclaimer; 'Binge Responsibly'.

Sideshow Bob, on trial for threatening Bart, explains he was writing German; 'Die Bart Die' just means 'the Bart, the'.
 
homer upon hearing that bart has been kidnapped.

"oh my god this is gonna be the worst thanksgiving ever".

marge tells him

"Thanksgiving isnt for 6 more months".

homer responds

"the bad news just keeps comming".
 
barney is sitting at moe's next to a frightened looking rabbit.

the rabit says to barney.

"Drink or ill die".
 
To paraphrase Comic Book Guy: "Best thread everrrr!"

Now a real CBG quote: "Um, excuse me: no banging your head on the display case, please. It contains a very rare Mary Worth in which she has advised a friend to commit suicide. Thank you."

Moe: "Please take the fries off my head, kid. The basket is extremely hot."
 
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