• The move to the new server is done. There are some software and database maintenance updates in process. This has us passing the hat around to help out. We appreciate any donations. Seriously, even a dollar helps. The payment page may be found here - https://www.audiokarma.org/support.html

The 'Lies Upon Lies' Game

Archeologists believe they have discovered the lost continent of Euphoria trapped between Tectonic plates under the Atlantic Ocean. Legend has it that inhabitants of the lost continent enjoyed a wonderful life of peaceful, co-operative enterprise based on a system of barter, regular weekend open-air festivals, free beer and cigarettes, daily rations of free chocolate, access to free health care and attractive tax incentives to help those in need. It is believed the Euphorians catalogued and indexed details of the their social structures in waterproof containers before the continent went down some eight thousand years ago.

Euphoria is expected to rise up from the depths when the Tectonic plates trapping it drift apart sometime next year.

STOP PRESS:

Industrial observers have been surprised to see a huge rise in the number of government orders for submersible workstations and gargantuan rivets.
 
Information received from Facebook postings indicate that the government does not want the world to know about the Euphorian culture which was much better than our current society. All archeologists involved in the discovery have vanished. A secret communication between the Secret Service and Sam's Club shows that a gigantic tube of Crazy Glue was purchased through a fronted account. The speculation is that the government plans on gluing the Tectonic plates together so that the sunken civilization will never reach the surface.
 
"Tectonic Plates" is the proposed new name for the Rolling Stones since they have reached an age where they need denture adhesive.
 
The makers of a revolutionary new adhesive claim it is cured by telepathy. Users can fiddle about with the pieces they want to bond together until they are just right, and then think "Go hard now" for five seconds to make the adhesive set.

The company's web site is presently down following a flood of emails asking whether the adhesive is a skin hazard.
 
Library paste and maple syrup make a tasty substitute for peanut butter, if you don't think about it too much.
 
Major food corporations have slowly been replacing peanut butter with artificial substitutes due to a peanut plague. There were virtually no peanuts left in the country after a blight in 2009 so to avert a panic, FDA officials developed look-alike replacements made from some bizarre ingredients.

The two formulas closest resembling peanut butter were the aforementioned library paste and maple syrup and the triple ingredient sweet and sour sauce, beef gravy and lemon meringue pie. The blight had decreased and peanut production should be up to speed by 2016.
 
The peanut, although considered by most people to be a legume, is actually a dairy product made from elderly congealed brie cheese and leftover Bernaise sauce.
 
Dairy products and Cows have now become the 2nd largest Natural Gas source. Researchers are now creating Geodesic domes over large herds and collecting the natural gas to inject into pipelines much like Solar Power plugs into the grid.

Other enterprising entrepreneurs are signing up for ventilation rights over Domed football and baseball stadiums providing they can find enough lactose intolerant individuals to take the free milk and yogurt needed to start up the process. Beer creates too much carbon dioxide though.
 
Embracing this new technology, the Pacific Gas and Electric Company (PG&E) decided at a recent stock holder meeting to change their name to 'Pacific Gastrointestinal Elimination'. Industry experts say that the recent power grid failure at February's Superbowl in San Francisco was the main factor in 'creating sustainable and perpetual energy at major sporting events'.
 
Last edited:
This new technology has it's problems. The computer controlled air exchange system in a small stadium in West Jewelsburg, Va. malfunctioned and 2,562 fans were taken to ERs in the surrounding area with methane poisoning. F.A.R.T.S. (Flatulent Articulated Reserves Technology Systems) sensors are now being installed in all sports complexes to gauge the level of gaseous emissions.
 
The winner of the 26-mile London marathon who clocked up a record time of thirty-two minutes has been telling fans there really need to be more public conveniences in London.
 
In the way that fish use a buoyancy bladder to control their depth underwater, birds use something similar to control altitude.
 
Birds are limited by their altitude limiters to a maximum of 300 feet by their maker and the Civil Aviation Authority. During long distance migration birds are only allowed to fly at certain times of the year, usually "off-peak" times.
 
bogle111 said:
Birds are limited by their altitude limiters to a maximum of 300 feet by their maker and the Civil Aviation Authority. During long distance migration birds are only allowed to fly at certain times of the year, usually "off-peak" times.
Click to expand...

And only if they've filed a complete flight plan 48 hours in advance.
 
Pterodactyls is a term used by those students who studied millions of hours ago. Now we call them Bats or Batman.
 
Batman's home, Gotham City, a colloquial name used by its residents, is more commonly referred to as the Bronx.
 
The Bronx, one of the five boroughs of Manhattan, was originally named for the wild horses the first Dutch settlers found roaming there.
 
Which would explain why Mr. Shultz was named Dutch and not Hans or Joachim, before embarking on an entrepreneurial career in the city.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom