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WAF (Wife Acceptance Factor) What about HAF (Husband Acceptance Factor)?

Coilvoice

Coilvoice

Well-Known Member
I hear the term WAF (wife acceptance factor) used here quite a bit. It's easy to see why this term exists as all of us know, our wife's opinion has to be considered in order to keep the boat from rocking. :yes: The point I would like to bring to the table is that some of you as husbands, may be puting up with a lot of girly dainty frills like comforters with flowers, floral wallpaper, lace curtains etc. This often is something that goes unchallenged in some homes /families, because home decor may be considered your wife's domain. If this domain is a given, maybe you should ask yourself why. If challenged, maybe you will find that to leave it be, your wife may be willing to issue you some free passes so to speak. :naughty:

If you are one of the guys who gets reamed for having /wanting what your wife considers ridiculously large /ugly speakers that don't pass WAF code, I think you may be a candidate for defining HAF (husband acceptance factor). This could be used to your advantage if this card hasn't been played yet. The two of you may realize that the scales are unbalanced and you are owed a few free passes. :D I consider myself very fortunate, because my wife doesn't give me a hard time if it means a lot to me, but there is usually some bartering /negotiating soon to follow. In the end there is a balance to tend to. Is your wife familiar with the term WAF and if so, is she familiar with HAF?

WAF and HAF... What are your thoughts? :scratch2:
 
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Isn't that why God gave us the ManCave? Does that count as HAF :scratch2: I think so.
I feel that we as husbands/boyfriends give up a large part of the common dwelling in order to 1) keep the peace, duh. and 2) Justify a sacred space of our own.
I for one am happy to let here put 12 pillows on the bed during the day if that insures me a space where she really has no power. A 'sacred' space, if you will. Where her input is acknowledged but happily ignored. Some cool posters or beer signs. Dogs playing card's. Even ugly speakers. That's the way it is. :D :smoke:
That's where I cash in my chips.

BTW, I guess I'm a lucky fella as I have a pair of Khorns, PL Andromedas, and Infinity QLS1's and she is still a happy happy girl..... I KNOW.
 
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I have one hard and fast guideline at our tiny house, I don't care what my wife collects/keeps as long as it's not a Knick-Knack... All Knick-Knacks go in the shed.

Knick-Knack - noun \ˈnik-ˌnak\ Definition of Knick-Knack: Any item that serves no purpose other than decoration. Any item that hasn't been used for anything other than decoration in six or more months, even if it can serve another purpose, is still a knick-knack and goes in the shed. Any item that remains undisturbed in the same spot long enough for dust to collect on it is then officially declared a knick-knack and goes in the shed. All knick-knacks that have resided in the shed for more than a year, go to the Goodwill, a yard sale, or the dump.
 
Bucky Badger said:
Isn't that why God gave us the ManCave? Does that count as HAF :scratch2: I think so.
I feel that we as husbands/boyfriends give up a large part of the common dwelling in order to 1) keep the peace, duh. and 2) Justify a sacred space of our own.
I for one am happy to let here put 12 pillows on the bed during the day if that insures me a space where she really has no power. A 'sacred' space, if you will. Where her input is acknowledged but happily ignored. Some cool posters or beer signs. Dogs playing card's. Even ugly speakers. That's the way it is. :D :smoke:
That's where I cash in my chips.

BTW, I guess I'm a lucky fella as I have a pair of Khorns, PL Andromedas, and Infinity QLS1's and she is still a happy happy girl..... I KNOW.
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I'm in the lucky fella club too, as I've had my share of large speakers and many at one time! Klipsch LaScalas X 2 pair, Cornwalls, Infinity Kappa 9, Kappa 7, RSII X 3 pair, Polkaudio SDA-SRS, Magnepans, Genesis 200 etc. etc. :D

I wouldn't consider it as a result of luck though, as we are all in charge of our destiny to some degree and some take the bull by the horns and others tuck tail and run! I was trying to help some of the runners who are whipped, negotiate with there wife, who more than likely wears the pants. :whip:
 
My wife is an interior designer so so no frilly crap no flowers no knick-knacks,but she hates big speakers.So down in the family room which is decorated the way I want and where the HT rig is I found some smaller speakers that I liked to make her happy.And i still have the garage(man-cave) where I keep all my vintage gear.
 
It is all about mutual respect. It is when one or both spouses have little or no repect for the others wants and desires that problems arise. Selfishness and self-centeredness will definitely cause problems.

Compromise from both are required for 2 people to be able to happily live together and make a happy home. If either are unwilling, there will eventually be trouble in paradise.

IMO.
 
I myself do not like big speakers in the living/sitting room. We also do not have a TV there a well.

I guess my big issue with the wife was color. Our house is not large but it is not a cracker box. Every time I suggested a little color on a wall she would go on and on about how it would make the room look smaller.

So we had looked at colors and found a few she liked but I kept getting that same old argument. I waited for her to go back home for a week and painted one wall.....

She likes it and does not think it makes the room look smaller but It was like pulling teeth for 2 years before I went ahead and did it.

And the wife is big into knick-Knacks. If there is a space on a shelf she has to put some stupid thing there. :thumbsdn:
 
My opinion is known as soon as my wife tells me what it is. Helps greatly to have had a happy union these past 28 years. I think the last time my opinion was independent was when soon after we met she needed a car and took my opinion to get a Volvo. Since then no car will she drive but a Volvo or a Jag. The Jag only b/c I owned one and she loved the feel of the ride and drive plus if it was good enough for the Queen it's good enough for her.
 
fotno said:
I have one hard and fast guideline at our tiny house, I don't care what my wife collects/keeps as long as it's not a Knick-Knack... All Knick-Knacks go in the shed.

Knick-Knack - noun \ˈnik-ˌnak\ Definition of Knick-Knack: Any item that serves no purpose other than decoration. Any item that hasn't been used for anything other than decoration in six or more months, even if it can serve another purpose, is still a knick-knack and goes in the shed. Any item that remains undisturbed in the same spot long enough for dust to collect on it is then officially declared a knick-knack and goes in the shed. All knick-knacks that have resided in the shed for more than a year, go to the Goodwill, a yard sale, or the dump.
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I guess your walls are pretty bare, fotno.

OP, what a woman wants decor wise is not related to pieces, but to a whole. Even I can see that an ugly pair of speakers can ruin the look of a room otherwise decorated by women or the like. Continuity is important, which is why all my decorations are stereos and most of my furnishings are speakers.

A man cave is a perfect trade off if you live with a woman.
 
It is a balancing act. I "police" some of it myself -- I just don't like a mishmash of colors and styles. It's visual noise to me. So even though I have too much gear :screwy: (a cassette deck I'll be selling off after I transcribe some more tapes to digital and a tuner even though I already have a receiver), it all hides in the bottom of the wall unit. The speakers can't, of course, but they're bookshelfs on stands. I've negotiated leaving the front grilles off (Monitor Audio's; they look and sound better without the grilles); the "price" is some of the other items on shelves in the wall unit.

My wife knows the TV probably could vanish tomorrow and I would not care. Almost all the rest of the furniture in the "listening room" is hers -- my stuff ended up in the basement or left the house. But the hi-fi gear -- that's very important to me. So I get some room for that without banishing it and she gets a system that doesn't look like a jumbled display at Best Buy. :thmbsp:
 
The wife factor.

Oh yes, the wife factor.
This is just an example from a previous thread about an individual that first asked his wife for permission to purchase some speakers and here is my response to that.......

Originally Posted by R-2-R
First, thats a good deal (that is if you really, really want them) and if you can get them for under $500 even better.

Second, big mistake about first asking the wife, just about every married man knows about that rule.
Only tell the other half 'after' you've made the purchase.
Never, never tell the other half about possibly making a deal for stereo/audio equipment because I'm sure you already know what her answer is going to be.
Plus she'll probably throw in the fact that you already have enough equipment already.
Always let her know 'after the fact', after you've made the deal and the stuff is already at your house.

Good Luck (with both deals: the speakers and the wife!).
 
R-2-R said:
Second, big mistake about first asking the wife, just about every married man knows about that rule.
Only tell the other half 'after' you've made the purchase.
Never, never tell the other half about possibly making a deal for stereo/audio equipment because I'm sure you already know what her answer is going to be.
Plus she'll probably throw in the fact that you already have enough equipment already.
Always let her know 'after the fact', after you've made the deal and the stuff is already at your house.

Good Luck (with both deals: the speakers and the wife!).
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I believe this is best summarized by the old saying......

It's easier to obtain forgiveness than permission!
 
I'm not married myself, and maybe part of the reason is my large system. I'm not a girl, but for some reason many just dont seem to like large equipment. Have a buddy with some really not that large JBL towers, and his wife was constantly hammering to get rid of them. He finally gave in, and got a Bose mini cube system. He's still trying to talk himself into how good this stuff is. Yea right.
 
How's it feel to be a knick-knack? In all honesty, I can not imagine making such a decision without input from my wife. Admittedly, she generally will acede to my decision but she will usually bring out some logical reasons why it is a good or not so good idea.
 
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I live alone but have my own acceptance factor. The speakers in the living room main system aren't the best speakers, because the best speakers are ugly. Those are in the bedroom, which is more of a theater space, with a projector.
 
I must be an oddball. I can only think of 2 things to do in a bedroom and using it as a home theater ain't one of them.
 
Brian said:
I must be an oddball. I can only think of 2 things to do in a bedroom and using it as a home theater ain't one of them.
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Just invite a woman over to watch a movie. There's only one place to sit in there, and really, its more comfortable to lay down. You have to get creative as far as space in downtown highrise apartments.
 
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