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WAF (Wife Acceptance Factor) What about HAF (Husband Acceptance Factor)?

The point I would like to bring to the table is that some of you as husbands, may be puting up with a lot of girly dainty frills like comforters with flowers, floral wallpaper, lace curtains etc. This often is something that goes unchallenged in some homes /families, because home decor may be considered your wife's domain. If this domain is a given, maybe you should ask yourself why.
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pretty simple for me. I have been married 32 years. When we first started, I had pretty much zero interest in "decorating" the house. If left up to me, my home would have looked like a college dorm room or my room in the barracks when in the military. My wife of course was basically just playing house and left to do pretty much as she pleased, she turned my house into what a real adult should be living in and not using old egg cartons for stands etc.
Over the decades with my various hobbies being mostly things I did outside, it just got to where the house became her domain.
As the decades went by and my hobbies started becoming things which required actually giving me some space, I was now stepping on her toes where I had left her alone for 20+ years.
And then, after so many years of being married to the same woman, I came to just pick and choose my fights carefully. Biggest thing that goes thru my mind is basically "is it worth it".
Answer is usually no.
To be fair to her, if I were not so lazy (I blame it on my disability) and stopped spending my money on so many other things, I could have remodeled my garage a long time ago to give me the room I need. I also have another garage that I can claim as solely mine if I pleased, but have been too lazy to repair a shed I need to get done to clear it out to make room for me.
So I pretty much go along with the waf on many things as I feel over the decades I have put myself in this position so just need to live with the decisions I have made.
I had plans to do my garage by now, but then I bought a boat that needed repaired, then I spent all of my money on fishing gear, of course I needed a $700 fishfinder/gps chart plotter - the hobbies go on and on and on.....
Basically I acquired audio gear and kept building my system until I was extremely satisfied with it - once very pleased, I still listen to it daily and love it, but now the money goes to other things.
Maybe one day I will decide to actually put the money into remodeling the garages and then I won;t have to worry about stepping on my wife's toes since I gave up that domain a long time ago.
I guess we could just call it Adverse possession - she has controlled it for so many years, it's hers now.
 
Years ago I came home to find that my wife had moved my "big ugly" speakers out of the living room and into the basement. :yikes: WTF! That was the beginning of the end of my living room stereo days and the beginning of my truly awesome garage man cave life.

So here I sit right now in my 32' x 40' heated(in-floor heat), air conditioned super insulated 14' ceiling garage complete with 3/4 bath, hard wired internet, cable tv, beer fridge, every tool known to man and of course it's cigar smoke friendly. I love it, it's my sanctuary, always has been even before the speaker move. They say stress is a killer, but when I'm here it just dissolves away. I'm very blessed to have this place :thmbsp:
 
Coilvoice said:
The first part of this individual quote is something every man should take serious to some degree. It makes a lot of sense to me. As far as the second part is concerned, I still agree, but if these were my words, I would've said it in a way which places more value on my wife's opinion and ideas.

Marriage is a unity that I like to keep equal and balanced. 50/50 if you will. Ultimately, being the man of the house and having the responsability of protecting the family, I do have the final word, but ths comes with great consideration to my wife as she is the love of my life. So in reality, maybe it equates out to a percentage closer to 51/49... :D
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My wife will be the first one to tell you that I don't ride roughshod on her and I don't make unilateral decisions (except for surprises that usually involve jewelry). I fully agree and live by what you say above. My message was to those who have given all the power in their relationship to their significant other. The power balance doesn't have to be 50/50, but if it goes much further than, say, 60/40 either way its usually unsatisfying to both even if they don't realize it.
 
Uncle Paul said:
My wife will be the first one to tell you that I don't ride roughshod on her and I don't make unilateral decisions (except for surprises that usually involve jewelry). I fully agree and live by what you say above. My message was to those who have given all the power in their relationship to their significant other. The power balance doesn't have to be 50/50, but if it goes much further than, say, 60/40 either way its usually unsatisfying to both even if they don't realize it.
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I couldn't agree more and I hope you didn't take offense to me adding to your comments. We both seem to be on the same page. Take care. :thmbsp:
 
Hey I'm all for the mancave.

Well, because that's what I have. :)

My wife does not care for huge ugly electronics/speakers in the common areas of our home. That's fine by me because..... she's not a bitch about it. And I'm not an asshole either (to her ;)).

She rules me not nor do I rule her. We love each other and coexist knowing the wants and desires of our other half. Some of you guys make compromising sound like you "don't wear the pants in the relationship"... wow. Really?

I am grown and I have a pair and I still All By Myself thought it would be nice if I confined my gear to one room of the house that satisfies my needs and doubly does not piss off my wife. She in fact laughs and calls my mancave a "16-year-old-boy's cry for help" and I can't help but agree with her; even though I turn 38 (yikes) soon.

Why do I need my **** in the living room? I stopped watching TV in the mid-90's. Don't have an HT setup am perfectly comfortable watching movies in 2-channel stereo on the rig.

Again I must be lucky because my wife and I get along 362 days a year...


Matt
 
Put a filter between your head and your keyboard!

kevzep said:
I dont know about anyone else, but I dont see this level of explicit language on this forum being a good thing.....
Just saying.....Its a family show.....
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+1! Come on people, let's keep it clean. This is the General Audio Discussion section. Think family!

JesusChrysler said:
Hey I'm all for the mancave.

Well, because that's what I have. :)

My wife does not care for huge ugly electronics/speakers in the common areas of our home. That's fine by me because..... she's not a bitch about it. And I'm not an asshole either (to her ;)).

Matt
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As stated earlier by other members, this is a family show. If you want to speak using such language, go to the mancave. There is no need for such loose lips to get your points across. :nono: Not trying to be rude, or make enemies, but this needed to be addressed. As the OP, I've been following this thread closely and this is also why I feel it is my duty to say something. Read the rules! :deal: Ok, water under the bridge and back to the topic.
 
Okay CV it's your show....

I have 6 children annnnnd none of them read my threads here at Ak...

Did not mean to make the PG-13 crowd blush.

Carry on and let me say my wife is not Unpleasant about my choices in audio....


That better?


;)


Peace my friend


Matt
 
JC,
Just know this... This isn't my show, nor my rules. This is Audiokarma's show and rules. I'm not the only one who has noticed some members disregarding the rules and you're not the only one who has kids that may or may not be reading these threads. I'm not part of any PG-13 crowd, but I do know when it is and is not appropriate to cut loose. I'm only firing back a bit, because I sense your lack of sincerity in your previous comments.

Like I said before, I'm not trying to make enemies here. As a matter of fact, it's quite the opposite. I would like to make some long lasting friendships with people who share the same passion for audio as I do. No disrespect was intended, so don't take it as a personal attack. We all at times get a little too descriptive with our stories and must be more careful, that's all. I'm guilty of it too, so you're not alone. No hard feelings and I truly mean that. Take care. ;)
 
I do take care.

No hard feeling were wrought.

I am sincere.

I... am... just an Aloof individual... with me?

Was not taking potshots at you just responding in my own usual way. Lifelong smarta... smarty and a lifer in restaurants so pardon my language just a tad???

trust me your post will not be locked due to a few bad words... I am not justifying them just saying...

You have every right to tell me to clean up my posts...

and I did. Just letting you know I am slightly more vulgar than you and I apologize if that offends.

again PEACE

;)


Matt
 
I appreciate you taking the time to make things right Matt. You seem like a nice guy and I'm glad we're on the same page. I know you didn't mean any harm, so on that note I can say there was never any hard feelings. No worries and have a good one! :thmbsp:
 
I am one of the lucky ones. My wife actually looks for vintage equipment for me when she is at flea markets/antique stores. Has called me to come for some good finds too! Even cleaned out some space in her walk-in closet for me!

Hmmmmm...maybe I should be worried?! :scratch2:
 
Zygmo said:
I am one of the lucky ones. My wife actually looks for vintage equipment for me when she is at flea markets/antique stores. Has called me to come for some good finds too! Even cleaned out some space in her walk-in closet for me!

Hmmmmm...maybe I should be worried?! :scratch2:
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Same here. A couple weeks ago the family went to a flea market a few miles from the house. We split up when we got there - the girls went in one direction and my son and went in another.

Lucky for me, when we later met up, she excitedly said, "Did you see the Kenwood receiver down isle x?" I said, we hadn't. So my son started to run ahead of me and there we found a near mint Kenwood KR-4400, complete with original box. (I always like to get the original box.) I offered the guy 25% less than he was asking, and he gladly accepted.

I was less than enthusiastic about hoping to find anything at the flea market, as this is not the typical venue for vintage electronics of the 70s. But, it is my second find in about a month, so they are paying off.

Now wherever she goes, she looks around and kinda knows what to look for.
 
Zygmo said:
I am one of the lucky ones. My wife actually looks for vintage equipment for me when she is at flea markets/antique stores. Has called me to come for some good finds too! Even cleaned out some space in her walk-in closet for me!

Hmmmmm...maybe I should be worried?! :scratch2:
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Yep! ~ You're going to come home one day to find that your wife has rearranged the living room and has a massive pair of ugly speakers that she's not willing to part with. Chuckle. :naughty: :D
 
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