cfinchrist
God bless America.
Well said; I sometimes feel this way as well.
What do I do about my wife?
- Thread starter Boomer543
- Start date
Well said; I sometimes feel this way as well.
d16rr702
Active Member
Just started getting into this......I told Madge (my wife) I was buying some vintage gear. She asked if this was going to be like my 69 Camarao I had a few years back, the one that never ran right and I never had time to fix.....mmmmm, hope not....
Then I showed Madge.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xs1aUws0Lrs
Then I explained I only spent $3400 on a used MR78, C32 and MC2255. (She didn't dis-approve but also didn't ask how much the speakers were going to cost)
Then she said I was too young for this stuff. Same thing she said when I tried to by a Porsche. What a doll...
Then I showed Madge.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xs1aUws0Lrs
Then I explained I only spent $3400 on a used MR78, C32 and MC2255. (She didn't dis-approve but also didn't ask how much the speakers were going to cost)
Then she said I was too young for this stuff. Same thing she said when I tried to by a Porsche. What a doll...
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SolderIron
Addicted Member
I admire the problem and don't have a solution.
Can she be fixed with deoxit and a recap?
Can she be fixed with deoxit and a recap?
Steelman
Super Member
I miss my ex wife...every time I pull the trigger, but my aim is getting better!
kevzep
Its all about the Music
Excellent Post.....:thmbsp:
JoeDotCom
Super Member
I was thinking about this thread today and wanted to give it a bump for any newcomers to the hobby that are struggling w/ a significant-other that is not fully on board w/ their interest.
This thread was a HUGE help to me last year in getting from "sneaking gear in and feeling guilt about it" to having a legit hobby that while my wife is not interested in the gear, she is glad to see me enjoying a hobby that is mostly self-funded and makes me very happy.
thanks to all who posted advice in here. and good luck to any newcomers trying to find balance between the hobby and other forces.
This thread was a HUGE help to me last year in getting from "sneaking gear in and feeling guilt about it" to having a legit hobby that while my wife is not interested in the gear, she is glad to see me enjoying a hobby that is mostly self-funded and makes me very happy.
thanks to all who posted advice in here. and good luck to any newcomers trying to find balance between the hobby and other forces.
newguy1
Super Member
good luck to any newcomers trying to find balance between the hobby and other forces.
So long as other forces aren't running out of house space to store gear, I agree! :thmbsp:
rnorton
Super Member
You don't HAVE a problem, you ARE the problem. Every one of those units is another one that I can't have <g>.
rnorton
Super Member
Is she still under warranty?
Can you calm her down by buying her some heels, coach bags, or whatever other feminine thing she likes?
Lee.
beatcomber
AK Member
My wife isn't 'into' audio, but she likes music to a degree. She doesn't like everything that I like, but one genre we both dig is jazz, although I'm a lot more picky about what I consider good.
Over the past few years I've bought and sold gear and most of it is out of her sight in the basement mancave. The $$ isn't a problem because I allot myself a small allowance to play with, and I don't exceed the agreed-upon budget. Sometimes I sell stuff to finance new purchases; I don't hang onto stuff I don't need.
After some negotiations on placement, I set up a tasteful system in the living room, and many nights while preparing dinner or whatever, she'll crack open a beer and say, "Jazz, please!"
I've recently started learning how to do some simple electronics and mechanical repairs on turntables and other gear, and this experience is transferring over to our common household items. Just recently I successfully fixed my wife's laptop, saving her around $80 to bring it to a professional. I also reconditioned a vintage table fan that she bought in an antique store. This has earned me (and my audio endeavors) some points.
Over the past few years I've bought and sold gear and most of it is out of her sight in the basement mancave. The $$ isn't a problem because I allot myself a small allowance to play with, and I don't exceed the agreed-upon budget. Sometimes I sell stuff to finance new purchases; I don't hang onto stuff I don't need.
After some negotiations on placement, I set up a tasteful system in the living room, and many nights while preparing dinner or whatever, she'll crack open a beer and say, "Jazz, please!"
I've recently started learning how to do some simple electronics and mechanical repairs on turntables and other gear, and this experience is transferring over to our common household items. Just recently I successfully fixed my wife's laptop, saving her around $80 to bring it to a professional. I also reconditioned a vintage table fan that she bought in an antique store. This has earned me (and my audio endeavors) some points.
jammasterj13
Active Member
You could show her some of my stuff - just don't tell her that I'm single. I also have about 30 pair of speakers in another room and over 16,000 records, 1,000 cd's, reel-to-reel tapes, cassettes, 8-track, 6 consoles, etc. :thmbsp:
Jesus, Mary and Joseph you got it bad homie.:tears:
And anything fatter than 12-gauge will just be buying into the snake oil that cable manufacturers use...
Oh, wait... it's not one of THOSE threads.
Never mind.
pw5599
Well-Known Member
Married for 30 years here and luckily she's very tolerant of my "problem".
I set my own rules such as dont buy stuff I wont use or cant flip within a few weeks.
Use areas of the house that she doesnt go to for storage of my stuff.
Set up a nice system in the main living area that you both decide how it will look, and let her have her way. If that means smaller speakers or less equipment, you have to make it work that way.
Ask if you can do a "mancave" in the basement or garage, or some area that she doesnt regularly go to or care about.
Let her know what you are buying, how good a bargain it is, why you are buying it.
Always give her a share of the sales profit as well as return to her any money that was used for a purchase that came from the household budget.
Always be honest and be sure to ask her to tell you if she's uncomfy with the amount of stuff you have and act upon that. Many times people with problems dont recognize it but others do so be sure to heed her advice.
Never overspend and regularly show her that you are making money or at least breaking even.
In my house I have nice systems in the main living area, the bedroom (small system), the basement, the garage. I move out any gear I'm not using as quick as possible and limit the buying to small pieces whenever possible and I try to only buy things I can use which would be an improvement and sell the piece it's replacing.
I do have my pieces that are keepers that arent in regular use but these are tucked away and I try to keep a current list going with current value. I call these investments and tell her that these things are a much safer investment than most things these days. If I suddenly disappear one day she's got the list to use to sell the stuff at proper value and she gets to add that to the estate. The investment pays off.
It's a balancing act but remember, if your hobby causes stress in the household, YOU need to fix that. As long as both are reasonable, things can usually be worked out with some discussion and compromise.
Good luck!
I set my own rules such as dont buy stuff I wont use or cant flip within a few weeks.
Use areas of the house that she doesnt go to for storage of my stuff.
Set up a nice system in the main living area that you both decide how it will look, and let her have her way. If that means smaller speakers or less equipment, you have to make it work that way.
Ask if you can do a "mancave" in the basement or garage, or some area that she doesnt regularly go to or care about.
Let her know what you are buying, how good a bargain it is, why you are buying it.
Always give her a share of the sales profit as well as return to her any money that was used for a purchase that came from the household budget.
Always be honest and be sure to ask her to tell you if she's uncomfy with the amount of stuff you have and act upon that. Many times people with problems dont recognize it but others do so be sure to heed her advice.
Never overspend and regularly show her that you are making money or at least breaking even.
In my house I have nice systems in the main living area, the bedroom (small system), the basement, the garage. I move out any gear I'm not using as quick as possible and limit the buying to small pieces whenever possible and I try to only buy things I can use which would be an improvement and sell the piece it's replacing.
I do have my pieces that are keepers that arent in regular use but these are tucked away and I try to keep a current list going with current value. I call these investments and tell her that these things are a much safer investment than most things these days. If I suddenly disappear one day she's got the list to use to sell the stuff at proper value and she gets to add that to the estate. The investment pays off.
It's a balancing act but remember, if your hobby causes stress in the household, YOU need to fix that. As long as both are reasonable, things can usually be worked out with some discussion and compromise.
Good luck!
michaelhigh
mind's eye music
Show her Tarl's pics and promise her you'll never reach that level of crass overreaching needless buying. Then be thankful he actually admitted to having such an obsessive habit for vintage gear and was willing to photograph it for those of us who, though not as bad as Tarl, can show the pics to anyone trying to run our lives and they will hopefully back off after seeing that extreme excessive compulsive behavior. By the way, I approve of the collection, the behavior is the only crazy thing. I'd have a cheap storefront in the coolest part of town and would sit up in there doing business and listening to music all day (buy sell trade). It wouldn't be a static (only buy not sell) situation. I'd have a hard time justifying otherwise, even to myself.
bogle111
A Canadian enjoying Wales
Start smoking, drinking, gambling, chasing women (slow ones), buying flashy cars and clothes for a while, - these pastimes can be fun and not as bad for you as some say.
Then, of course you'll get your hobby back, p o s s i b l y .
I've actually been pretty good lately. Haven't bought anything significant yet in 2012 (I think). Been enjoying what I have. The flipping hasn't happened yet, mostly because I have been having troubles fixing the stuff I buy (just check out my other threads). But I am undeterred.
I think my plan will be to go for upgrades now. I have four complete systems now and that seems like more than enough. The M-4 and the Advent 2s on BT today really gave me a lot of pause, though.... Just had to fight through the urges....
Jack
P.S. If Kerrytat calls me again about some amazing speakers someone left on his doorstep, then the deal is off. I can't resist that guy...
I think my plan will be to go for upgrades now. I have four complete systems now and that seems like more than enough. The M-4 and the Advent 2s on BT today really gave me a lot of pause, though.... Just had to fight through the urges....
Jack
P.S. If Kerrytat calls me again about some amazing speakers someone left on his doorstep, then the deal is off. I can't resist that guy...
canuckaudiog
On a quest for high fidelity
I'll put in my two cents..
I'm a young guy having only been married now for just over a year, and having been together with my wife for over 6 years. However I'm fairly logical when it comes to nipping this hobby with my wife because I knew she had to be a part of it in order for me to get what I want.
First and foremost I include her in every decision I make in terms of purchasing. We both work for the money that we both use, so it's partly hers too. Therefore she gets a say in every decision. Next I am always willing to compromise in every situation. I don't go into it expecting anything - I go into it willing to find a happy medium between the two of us because like any normal human being, she can be reasoned with. You might disagree with me but I would say to you it's your line of reasoning and sales pitch to her that aren't working, not the fact she's 'unreasonable'. If she truly is unreasonable then you've got bigger problems.
When it comes to compromising, my biggest sales pitch to her is that I am buying gear and making money from it to fuel the hobby. I probably made the smartest decision in the world by getting my Dad to talk to her about what I do one night. He has an awesome perspective on life because he's doing quite well and is very happy, so he's a tough guy not to listen to. He has a hobby of his own which is muscle cars, and I remember the discussion between the two of them going something like "So wait, you get up in his snout about his hobby when he's trying to make money on it, when in reality most hobbies that guys get into are money pits? You need to look at the positive side of things here. He could be doing what I'm doing, which is costing me money to enjoy rather than how he's going about it in a total win-win situation."
And it's true. Most hobbies ARE money pits. We are lucky in that we have found something we love, and is also something that can potentially pay for itself. The trick is going about it the right way. As long as you approach it in a committing, logical way, you will most likely get what you want. Remember she is your other half and is really trying to look out for your best interest. Be smart about how you approach this with her, not hard-headed, ignorant or arrogant.
Also my wife doesn't even really have a hobby or anything she spends a lot of money on. So I can't even use the argument "Oh you have X so I get to have Y". Nope. I'm just logical about the way I approach this hobby and how I deal with it when it comes to her and her expectations. She is not unreasonable, perhaps I am fortunate that way but I think a large part of it comes from the way I approach it.
Be sensible, logical, reasonable and above all be willing to make the decisions together. I guarantee you that if you let her be a part of it and you approach it like I said, you will have a lot less trouble on your hands and she'll be much more willing to let you have what you want. Just don't go overboard with your expectations and gear! You did marry her for good reasons in the first place, right? She deserves to be heard, after all she's your better half. 
I'm a young guy having only been married now for just over a year, and having been together with my wife for over 6 years. However I'm fairly logical when it comes to nipping this hobby with my wife because I knew she had to be a part of it in order for me to get what I want.
First and foremost I include her in every decision I make in terms of purchasing. We both work for the money that we both use, so it's partly hers too. Therefore she gets a say in every decision. Next I am always willing to compromise in every situation. I don't go into it expecting anything - I go into it willing to find a happy medium between the two of us because like any normal human being, she can be reasoned with. You might disagree with me but I would say to you it's your line of reasoning and sales pitch to her that aren't working, not the fact she's 'unreasonable'. If she truly is unreasonable then you've got bigger problems.
When it comes to compromising, my biggest sales pitch to her is that I am buying gear and making money from it to fuel the hobby. I probably made the smartest decision in the world by getting my Dad to talk to her about what I do one night. He has an awesome perspective on life because he's doing quite well and is very happy, so he's a tough guy not to listen to. He has a hobby of his own which is muscle cars, and I remember the discussion between the two of them going something like "So wait, you get up in his snout about his hobby when he's trying to make money on it, when in reality most hobbies that guys get into are money pits? You need to look at the positive side of things here. He could be doing what I'm doing, which is costing me money to enjoy rather than how he's going about it in a total win-win situation."
And it's true. Most hobbies ARE money pits. We are lucky in that we have found something we love, and is also something that can potentially pay for itself. The trick is going about it the right way. As long as you approach it in a committing, logical way, you will most likely get what you want. Remember she is your other half and is really trying to look out for your best interest. Be smart about how you approach this with her, not hard-headed, ignorant or arrogant.
Also my wife doesn't even really have a hobby or anything she spends a lot of money on. So I can't even use the argument "Oh you have X so I get to have Y". Nope. I'm just logical about the way I approach this hobby and how I deal with it when it comes to her and her expectations. She is not unreasonable, perhaps I am fortunate that way but I think a large part of it comes from the way I approach it.
Be sensible, logical, reasonable and above all be willing to make the decisions together. I guarantee you that if you let her be a part of it and you approach it like I said, you will have a lot less trouble on your hands and she'll be much more willing to let you have what you want. Just don't go overboard with your expectations and gear! You did marry her for good reasons in the first place, right?
She deserves to be heard, after all she's your better half.