Write a Limerick

[bobsvinyl]

When I was a kid, we used to write our own limericks, usually to make fun of each other. Here's a chance for all you frustrated writers to spread you literary wings. This could turn out to be an epic failure, but maybe not.

Definition:
noun, Grammar.
1.
A kind of humorous verse of five lines, in which the first, second, and fifth lines rhyme with each other, and the third and fourth lines, which are shorter, form a rhymed couplet.



My entry:

There once was a girl from Brazil
whose husband had built her a still
She threw in some fruit
and then had a toot
and passed out when she had her fill.

 

[harman/kardon]

Very nice idea, but much too difficult for me. I would like to post a Limerick of Pete instead - our legendary unforgotten ad hoc Limerick Guru...!

Safe and sound, well off the ground,
that's where you find the bird
they always eat
standing on their feet,
though I chomp and fly, maybe I'm absurd.

In memoriam bogle111

 

[dcmfan]

I just joined Audiokarma.
No attitude - No harma!
I posted a fable
About a great cable-
The replies set off my fire alarma!

 

[bobsvinyl]

I once had an big pair of Bose
The cabs stuffed with old pantyhose.
As I turned up the sound,
the stockings unwound,
and smacked me right in the nose.

 

[ConradH]

The amp had troubles to shoot
That I thought I could fix in a toot
The DeOxit I sprayed
But I'd picked up the Glade
And that's when I gave it the boot.

 

[onwardjames]

My record collection is vast
Got all the good stuff, first to last
But the problem, you see
Has occurred to me
That my hearing is failing fast.

 

[Hyperion]

There was once a man from some town,
Who kept jumping up and down.
When I asked him, "Dear sir,”
“What makes you so hy-per?”
He stared like I was the clown.

(not mine - copied from Internet )

 

[bobsvinyl]

^^^
I like how you worked part of your name in there.

 

[dcmfan]

I love the springtime in San Juan
The girls go about without much on.
But though I'm still bold,
I've grown rather old,
And I wouldn't be able to catch one.

 

[dcmfan]

My records are heard and they're seen.
The surfaces have a great sheen.
But before very long,
I won't hear their song,
Because I polished them with Oxy-Clean.

 

[dcmfan]

Writing limericks can sometimes be awkward.
I can't always get this one started.
The secret I find,
Is to write the last line
And finish the poem going backwards.

_____________________________

That's it! I'm going outside to play.

 

[Hyperion]

There was a young lady from Ongar.
Who went to bed with a congar.
When asked how it felt.
She said though it smelt.
It was quite like a man only longer.

(again not mine)

 

[jonnyboy]

On Craigslist I posted some speakers
Amongst the cars, bikes, and sneakers
But to my distress
Up to my address
Nobody showed but some tweakers

 

[bobsvinyl]

There once was an audiophile
whose system was very high style
With 180 gram
the imagery, Damn!
Was the best he'd heard in a while.

 

[ConradH]

The tip of the stylus was vile
It was fixed with an audio file
The grooves are now cut
With the dust cover shut
And the records last only a while.

 

[dcmfan]

The tip of the stylus was vile
It was fixed with an audio file
The grooves are now cut
With the dust cover shut
And the records last only a while.

Haha! Brilliant!

 

[dcmfan]

Silicone, transistors and whiz kids,
Created internet, browsers, and web hits.
Anything you could know,
Your GUI will show.
And here we are using it for this.

 

[likebike23]

A guy that I know is so cheap.
He gets all his gear off the heap.
He'd even stoop
to clean up mouse poop.
Hate to say it, he got some good stuff to keep.

 

[usedto]

I'll post one as soon as I come up with a rhyme for "Nantucket"

 

[oldgringo]

Keepin 'em clean [for now]:

There once was a runner named Dwight
Who could sprint even faster than light
He set out one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.

Cheers, og