Write a Limerick

[old_tv_nut]

There was a fur trapper named Claire
Whose prices for pelts were quite fair.
She said "Like my beaver?
Well, take her or leave her.
I can find buyers most everywhere."

 

[old_tv_nut]

The limerick has a known quirk
To tell a short tale with a smirk.
The text often wanders
To double entendres
That make it not quite safe for work.

 

[ETLS]

There was a young lady named Alice,
Who used dynamite for a phallus.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina,
And part of her asshole in Dallas.

 

[5stringer]

A lovely young girl from Dundee
Once got stung on the leg by a wasp
When asked "Does it hurt?"
She said "Not very much
It can do it again if it wants"

See, I'm still finding my feet at this.

 

[5stringer]

That lovely young girl from Dundee
She went for a swim in a lake.
A man in a punt
Stuck his pole up her nose
And said "You cant swim here,it's private"

 

[onwardjames]

There was a young lady named Alice,
Who used dynamite for a phallus.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina,
And part of her asshole in Dallas.

That had me rolling.

 

[MaxxVolume]

A large young man from Boston
Loved to speed around in his Austin
There was room for his ass, and a gallon of gas
But his balls hung out and he lost `em

 

[DonQuixote99]

The hors d'oeuvre is really quite neat,
They make me happy to eat,
The combo's a hit--
Just a small little bit
Of cheese, and small bite of meat.

 

[bobsvinyl]

My wife's watching a Hallmark show.
The Christmas trees covered in snow.
Crime and Detective movies
I think are really groovy
Not old Rudolph's nose all aglow.

 

[Doctorhugo]

There once was a guy, name of Beaver,
Who traded his brand new receiver;
He said "by the hour
I long for more power;
I must have that upgrading fever."

 

[old_tv_nut]

Last snowstorm there was a cute lass
Who fell down the hill on her ass.
The neigbors all wondered
And then they all pondered
Who made the butt marks in the grass.

 

[old_tv_nut]

In the desert there is an old practice
To put Christmas lights on the cactus.
For thieves that would take 'em
It's a good way to make 'em
Holler "Oh, that there tree done attacked us!"

 

[turnitup]

There once was a post on AK
By a poster with something to say

The message was boring
Had everyone snoring

So it lived a short life in dismay…

 

[turnitup]

I purchased a vintage turntable by Dual
It was sexy, I started to drool

I saw the steuerpimpel
It’s design was so simple

But it’s condition, I thought I’m a fool!

 

[CJ61]

There was a young woman from Sale
And on her breasts were the prices of ale
And on her behind, just for the blind
Was the same but written in braille

 

[turnitup]

I bought some old headphones by Koss
They were big green and heavy, “This’s boss!”

My head started hurting
My ears were still yearning

As my eyes were beginning to cross

 

[Quadman2]

There is a chap full of cheers
Being pulled by a group of deers

His sleigh, plum full of gifts
For all good little stiffs

Leaving the bad ones in tears.

Q

 

[Jody Thornton]

I can't believe this thread is alive
I always worry that it won't survive

But now I see some new rhymes
It appears to be one of those times

I am one of the last to arrive

 

[bobsvinyl]

Just like Jody Thorton has said
This thread keeps rising from the dead.
So try to find the time
to stop by with a rhyme
before you stagger off to bed.

 

[old_tv_nut]

Bobsvinyl you are such a nagger
And normally I'm not a bragger
But I scratched my dome
And made up this poem
And now off to bed I will stagger.