600-700 F here, and I work quickly. It's counter-intuitive, but there will actually be less heat penetration into the part by running a hotter iron and working more quickly. The heat stays more localized in the area you are making the joint. Occasionally I'll bump it up to 750 F for ground plane work, but if that is needed the tip is probably to small for the job. The former is my experience with PCBs both surface mount and through-hole. Jobs with larger wire and connection points will need more heat. With big gauges (12+?) you are probably better off with a soldering gun, but I lack a lot of experience in the larger stuff.
Ideally I will have a few different sizes/shapes of tips around. Super fine point conical for the really small stuff (mostly surface mount), a medium conical that comes standard with most stations, and a larger chisel. I like chisel tips for desoldering braid especially.
If you are holding the iron on the joint for more than a second or two to melt the solder something is wrong. You could have tip corrosion/debris (heat not transferring), lack of flux, the tip may be inappropriately sized for the job, or your iron may not be hot enough. Taking too long to heat a joint can cause damage to the surrounding components, lifted traces, and all sorts of nastyness which you don't want to deal with.
...And remember, FLUX is your FRIEND!
*Edit, I unintentionally parroted some of the information from the two posts above me. Sorry, I should read the whole thread next time!