My sister-in-law retired from teaching after 33 years.
She says the whole trend of "text messaging" is sending grammar and spelling to heck in the express lane. :sigh:
I certainly don't mean this as a criticism of your sister, but I've heard that assessment, and I think that's a cop out. My generation (I'm 23) wasn't taught phonetics, although I
believe there is a move back to teaching English that way now. I learned how to read and spell with the
Whole Language system. I can attest that it doesn't work. I'm a less than stellar speller and, especially when I was younger, struggled to pronounce words I hadn't read or seen before.
The grammar issue is a separate one, in my mind. I finally actually learned grammar when I was a junior and senior in high school, and I only learned it from my SAT prep class/tutor, and even then only because I expressed a specific interest in actually learning it, not just learning how to do it on the test. I wouldn't say my grammar is perfect (I'm not 100% rock solid on when commas should be used, for example, though this rule is somewhat flexible depending on the circumstances), but it's pretty damn close. I think the reason I had never really learned grammar up until that point is that every teacher I had in middle and high school presented grammar in more or less the following way: "OK, I know that grammar is really boring and no one wants to do it, but I have to teach it, so let's just get through it so we can move on." I've had that explicitly said, but even when it hasn't been, that's been the attitude. There's no way you're going to get someone to learn something when it's presented that way. I think if it was taught younger, and presented more like "Hey, here's something really easy that will, on it's own, make you a much better writer, qualify you for tons of jobs, and allow you to enjoy spoken and written English much more," more people would pick it up.
But really, that's just a symptom. Of what? Our failing (or, perhaps already thoroughly failed) public education system. I had the extreme privilege of going to a private school for my elementary and college-preparatory education and I still effectively ended up learning grammar on my own, and most people aren't as lucky as I was to have that option.
What can I say...everyone cross your fingers/knock on wood/do whatever you do for luck for a President in 2008 that will actually do something about it.