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The viewing starts in 12 hours . Yesterday , I went to my mom's house for the first time since she passed . . I went with my sister . She asked if I wanted my Christmas presents . I was floored . Sure enough , my Mom had already shopped for me . My yearly FYE gift card and when my sister got mom's mail , there was a solid silver eagle coin in the mail for me . How much more can my heart take ?

I know I will shop extra careful with that FYE gift card this year . Actually , I did every year . I would wait for my most favorite artists to release an album . And right after the purchase , I would call my Mom and thank her .
 
Yes it's very hard when you see someones plans but they are no longer with us. I was taking care of my mom for a long time at her house all the way up to hospist and the end. Im the youngest of four and my mom had taken the whole family out for each of our 50th birthdays. Well except mine, she tried so hard to make it but died 2 days prior to my 50th. I came home from work on my birthday and there was a card there from my mom that my sister put out for me as it was in my moms desk. That was the loneliest birthday I ever had.

The first year will be very hard as nothing that was normal as far as holidays and such just changed abruptly. But I also think we gain a lot out of our parents passing as well, we tend to want to be the best we can for the rest of the family, and really look at what's truly important. A stronger bond between siblings will be had.
 
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The viewing went ok . It was nice to see my mom and of course all my friends and family . It turned out to be a celebration of sorts . Today is the funeral and I will suppose this will be tough .
 
The day is over and Mom is gone . A beautiful service and a good meal afterwards . Now the process of being in charge of her will .
 
zebra03 said:
The day is over and Mom is gone . A beautiful service and a good meal afterwards . Now the process of being in charge of her will .
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Correction Mom will never be gone at all you'll see. You just can't ask her all those question you have of all the things you forgot and she remembers. :)

I know it's very hard on you but please be strong and understanding with your siblings as well, their siblings we're supposed to fight. Even though my sisters and I love each other very much we all bickered and fought for the first year or so splitting things up, selling the house and we all had very strong opinions. But today like I said earlier it's like we love each other more now, we all went though hell together so it's like we all shared the pain and know each other better for that.

God Bless you and your family, Mom is safe and in good hands now, your job is to help keep her family strong and together as she has done all these years. Keep the family get togethers going just like she wanted year over year.:angel:
 
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I missed this thread somehow and I'm very sorry to hear about your mom Zebra. I lost my mother two years ago. She was wonderful and was responsible for my love for music and always encouraged me to listen to music, play my guitar and encouraged me with my other hobbies as well. Opposite of my dad who was more conservative but I loved who I lost in '85. I miss them both so much words can never describe. Hang in there brother!
 
zebra03 said:
I feel like a vulture .
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Quietly said, No, no, and no. Your job here is honoring your mother's memory, her life, and her "possessions" and estate. One would love to keep everything as it is or was, with no changes at all, hoping against hope someone will just walk in the door like nothing happened except a long vacation.
But that's not how it is unless there's resources to do so and create a time capsule, museum, or memorial. I don't know if you and your mother ever talked about the future without her (most families seldom do), but she entrusted you to make the tough decisions about what was important and material to her that she accumulated and was given throughout her life. That is a very big responsibility, and I'm sure it weighs upon you a lot because it creates all kinds of mixed feelings. And even with a will or living trust, where some or most of it is (hopefully reasonably) spelled out, there can and will be some obstacles via family and others. You'll have to navigate those as best you can, again hopefully with some guidance and help by legal representation, some negotiation, some prayers, and yes, even some quiet time discussions with your mom or at a graveside visit. I know its so soon but I'm confident you still hear your mother teaching or guiding you, or saying "whatever you think is best, I know you'll make the right decision. I love you."

For many of us, God owns it all. He gives us the opportunity to manage and shepherd those resources He provides us with, and when He calls us back, he wants those resources to help others, be it family, friends, or strangers. That help may come as reminders of a live well lived, the love that was given by God and reflected in your mom's life, or the material aspects to help someone else have something they didn't have yesterday. The important thing is to hopefully have your mother's spirit and intentions in mind, and know that she would be happy with your decisions.

"A house is still a home" and a house empty needs a new family to love it and fill it with joy. It is the cycle of things young and old.
 
mech986 said:
Quietly said, No, no, and no. Your job here is honoring your mother's memory, her life, and her "possessions" and estate. One would love to keep everything as it is or was, with no changes at all, hoping against hope someone will just walk in the door like nothing happened except a long vacation.
But that's not how it is unless there's resources to do so and create a time capsule, museum, or memorial. I don't know if you and your mother ever talked about the future without her (most families seldom do), but she entrusted you to make the tough decisions about what was important and material to her that she accumulated and was given throughout her life. That is a very big responsibility, and I'm sure it weighs upon you a lot because it creates all kinds of mixed feelings. And even with a will or living trust, where some or most of it is (hopefully reasonably) spelled out, there can and will be some obstacles via family and others. You'll have to navigate those as best you can, again hopefully with some guidance and help by legal representation, some negotiation, some prayers, and yes, even some quiet time discussions with your mom or at a graveside visit. I know its so soon but I'm confident you still hear your mother teaching or guiding you, or saying "whatever you think is best, I know you'll make the right decision. I love you."

For many of us, God owns it all. He gives us the opportunity to manage and shepherd those resources He provides us with, and when He calls us back, he wants those resources to help others, be it family, friends, or strangers. That help may come as reminders of a live well lived, the love that was given by God and reflected in your mom's life, or the material aspects to help someone else have something they didn't have yesterday. The important thing is to hopefully have your mother's spirit and intentions in mind, and know that she would be happy with your decisions.

"A house is still a home" and a house empty needs a new family to love it and fill it with joy. It is the cycle of things young and old.
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My goodness , what a beautiful and thoughtful post . Thank You

PS , This made me and Mrs Zebra weep. But in a good way . Thank you
 
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My Mom wasn't the type of person that bought things and then discarded. She never bought to just replace something as it was still working and functioning. So needles to say her things where also a big part of our life, many many memories even for the very mundane.

She had always said that we wouldn't want most of her stuff as a lot of it was just inexpensive stuff. However all of us kids didn't want to let anything go, it was hers and really since we all had grown up with it, it was ours. The simplest things like kitchen wear that she made hot chocolate in, or our plastic kids cups that in turn where used for grand kids. These things matter more than anything we could ever go and buy today. When I'm in my kitchen today or do some yard work my Mom and Dad are with me. I see things that I have now that remind me of my parents and my past everyday.

I have my parents and as I have said they never really leave you.
 
^^^ @mech986: I totally agree with everything you said. This IS the post of the year. :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:
@Zebe: If you would have had a bad relationship with your Mom, you wouldn't want any of the possessions. Since the opposite is true, it's a sign of the love between you.
 
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