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Old Sayings

of something cool:

"Slicker than snot on a doorknob"
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and when speaking of your favorite politician:

"He's dumber than a stump"
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So dumb couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.

It fits slicker than a snake in a wagon rut.

Only has one oar in the water.
 
iowa roots coming thru again, but

I always heard the variant:
"tits on a boar"



Andyman said:
A couple from my Dad............

"About as useful as tits on a bull"

Also, an "H2" ( Squared) noted in the margin of a paper or book he was reading for "Happy Horse ****"
Click to expand...
 
Liver Lips

Busy as a one legged man in an a$$ kicking contest. . .

Busier than a cat covering ****. . .

Busy as a bee. . .

Busy as a beaver. . .

Eyes like 2 peeholes in the snow. . .

Shot at and missed **** at and hit. . .

A 5 pound bag with 10 pounds of **** in it. . .

Colder than a well digger's a$$. . .

Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey in Washington Square. . .

40 miles of bad road. . .

Your Momma. . .

So stupid he brought a knife to a gun fight. . .
 
Lead, Follow, or get out of the way.
Panties can only bunch, if you WEAR them.
A true measure of a man is the size of the thing that bothers him.
No Whining!
Drunk as a skunk.
Beauty is in the eye of the Beer-Holder
Fart in a windstorm.
Don't know whether to **** or go blind.
Piss up a rope.
Here's a quarter, call someone who cares.
 
Had a old plumber come into my plumbing supply store one day... I can't remember what he came after, but the solution I showed him was a new item that he had never seen before. He took his hat off his head, scratched the bald spot the cap had been covering and said; "I been to two World's Fairs and a goat f--king, but that beats all I've ever seen!".

I laughed for quite a while. My wife who has heard me use this phrase ever after, hates it!
 
On lackluster performance: You just don't have a clue do ya?

On age: Older than white dog turds. My kids like that one.
 
My Grandfather had a few. One was for when people were asking personal questions he would answer with 10 2, which stood for ten two your own business. If we brought up an personal subject he would just say 10, 2 and we would no to shut up or change the subject. He would also say I can't dance and it's too wet to plow, meaning an idea or suggetsion was as good as any
 
I used to have a college professor that taught construction law. When he was asked a question that he deemed silly he would respond with "You don't bring your pregnant wife to a shoemaker... well do ya?"

To this day, im not really sure what he meant by that.

RC
 
Birds of a feather eat hotdogs (dont ask i either came up with it or saw it in highschool)

Not the brightest crayon in the box.

Im not sure what your problem is but im sure its hard to pronounce.
 
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