Yep! That was it. I had 65 watts in, so I put in another 40 instead of the 15, bumping it to 80. That improved things - the relay closed, and I had stable voltages - briefly. Then they started fluctuating again, so I plugged it straight into the wall. Bingo! Once it warmed up a bit, the voltages were stable and relatively easy to adjust to near 0mv. Both sides now hold within about 2.5mv of zero, so I'm pretty happy with that!
I then double checked the voltages at pin 13 & 14 of the pre-drivers, and got about 1.4v - one +ve, one -ve. So then I plugged in some headphones, tuned up a station... and voila. Audio! So all is well... just need a new power-amp unit. Though now that I have them off, I forget which one was on the side with the high DC... so I'll have to figure out how to test them while off the receiver.
On to the heat issue of the pre-drivers... they got up to about 110F just while adjusting and testing. So I pulled some rather nice heatsinks off a couple computer motherboards, and they fit like they were designed for these things. Pics are worth a thousand words, so here you go.
in retro-spect I should have replaced those caps underneath the one heatsink before I put the chip back in. Those are going to be a PITA to do now...