What is privilege? No politics

[ducati_EL34]

I do...because it's an object lesson in a kind of privilege that proudly declares itself, while simultaneously revealing a lack of knowledge understanding or even awareness, of the pervasiveness of past trauma as it relates to self and others...including large groups of friends neighbors and countrymen...but...do go on...

You are a daft if you think you know me from a few internet posts. Brevity is my middle name. My job brings me in contact with people that continue to make poor life choices, and then blame the system, or anyone but themselves.

 

[DeadRock]

You are a daft if you think you know me from a few internet posts. Brevity is my middle name. My job brings me in contact with people that continue to make poor life choices, and then blame the system, or anyone but themselves.

Did you not write "the past is gone"? Not only brief...but simply not true....taking an honest account of, and responsibility for your own actions, can not to be confused or conflated with those that remain locked or stuck in their past trauma(s)....their own...or their collective's.

 

[ducati_EL34]

Did you not write "the past is gone"? Not only brief...but simply not true....taking an honest account of, and responsibility for your own actions, can not to be confused or conflated with those that remain locked or stuck in their past trauma(s)....their own...or their collective's.

The past is gone, hence the term. If they are stuck, it is of their own doing.

 

[DeadRock]

The past is gone, hence the term. If they are stuck, it is of their own doing.

Wait....so...you work in law enforcement....and uninformed vis a vis trauma? ...hmmmmmm....

 

[ducati_EL34]

Wait....so...you work in law enforcement....and uninformed vis a vis trauma? ...hmmmmmm....

WTF? No trauma. I just see example after example of poor life choices.

 

[asilker]

WTF? No trauma. I just see example after example of poor life choices.

But what propels people to make self destructive choices

 

[DeadRock]

WTF? No trauma. I just see example after example of poor life choices.

...got it...and....you do not understand trauma. I find that interesting....especially given your work and own privileges...

 

[ducati_EL34]

But what propels people to make self destructive choices

I don’t know. I don’t hang out with that demographic.

 

[asilker]

I don’t know. I don’t hang out with that demographic.

Pardon me if this comes across as piling on -- not my intent:

I think sometimes people have good reasons for doing what they do, even if you can identify that it causes harm. Respectfully, there may be something here that you aren't seeing

 

[ducati_EL34]

...got it...and....you do not understand trauma. I find that interesting....especially given your work and own privileges...

I know what trauma is. I just choose not to indulge in it. I make lite of bad situations, and laugh them off, as do others in my profession.

As for any privileges I may have, I don’t apologize for them. I simply embrace them.

What do you want me to do for the “underprivileged”?

 

[ducati_EL34]

Pardon me if this comes across as piling on -- not my intent:

I think sometimes people have good reasons for doing what they do, even if you can identify that it causes harm. Respectfully, there may be something here that you aren't seeing

Riddle me this, what is the good reason for a woman who stays with a man, who beats the shite out of her?

 

[DeadRock]

I don’t know. I don’t hang out with that demographic.

But according to your posts above, an expert nevertheless. I see....

 

[ducati_EL34]

But according to your posts above, an expert nevertheless. I see....

I never claimed to be an expert. It does not require an expert to see what need to be done to effect a change.

 

[asilker]

Riddle me this, what is the good reason for a woman who stays with a man, who beats the shite out of her?

Statistically it takes women an average of 7 attempts to leave in instances of intimate partner violence. In the situations I have been exposed to, usually the physical violence is the most visible manifestation but the "abuser's playbook" is to form relationships with the abused's family and max out credit cards.

Or in other words, if a woman chooses to stay with a man who beats the shite out of her, I believe that suggests that the abuser has made the consequences of leaving look more significant than the consequences of staying.

From another perspective, human beings generally have a STRONG biological impulse to ensure our own safety. For most of us, the ability to choose codes as agency. So if someone chooses to stay, often the transaction is "the devil you know"

Editing to add: PTSD, formally, means that the messages from your body do not match the messages from your cognition. This typically results in people struggling to identify what is a real threat because EVERYTHING becomes a "threat"

 

[asilker]

I know what trauma is. I just choose not to indulge in it. I make lite of bad situations, and laugh them off, as do others in my profession.

As for any privileges I may have, I don’t apologize for them. I simply embrace them.

What do you want me to do for the “underprivileged”?

My ask would be: please just be gentle and prioritize mercy. I think it's good that you have privilege. If we don't extend it to others, we miss out on an opportunity to pull all of us up together

 

[ducati_EL34]

Statistically it takes women an average of 7 attempts to leave in instances of intimate partner violence. In the situations I have been exposed to, usually the physical violence is the most visible manifestation but the "abuser's playbook" is to form relationships with the abused's family and max out credit cards.

Or in other words, if a woman chooses to stay with a man who beats the shite out of her, I believe that suggests that the abuser has made the consequences of leaving look more significant than the consequences of staying.

If the woman buys that, she has bigger problems. There are shelters for this sort of thing situation.

 

[asilker]

If the woman buys that, she has bigger problems. There are shelters for this sort of thing situation.

I am the person who runs these services. I am the shelter for this.

What I said is true.

 

[ducati_EL34]

I am the person who runs these services. I am the shelter for this.

What I said is true.

That may be true, but they are dumb for letting someone max out their credit cards. They have to ask themselves, what is in for me?

What part of any of this behavior, is a good idea?

 

[asilker]

That may be true, but they are dumb for letting someone max out their credit cards. They have to ask themselves, what is in for me?

What part of any of this behavior, is a good idea?

Sir... I do not know how to express this but I do not think you understand what you're saying.

Would you mind me asking: from your perspective, what do you expect the standard narrative looks like in these situations? Girl meets boy then.... what?

 

[DeadRock]

I never claimed to be an expert. It does not require an expert to see what need to be done to effect a change.

So...I know you're not The Chief...