HeezDeadJim
Entrope Weasel
That's probably because "Mother Goose does NOT approve"....or the fact that "she's not gonna TAKE it...." (sticking random stuff in her arse)
You know you have crappy audio equipment if....
- Thread starter Vinylman86
- Start date
That's probably because "Mother Goose does NOT approve"....or the fact that "she's not gonna TAKE it...." (sticking random stuff in her arse)
CoogarXR
Super Member
-If your main speakers are covered in gray carpet
-If they also have waffle grilles and piezo tweeters
-If they came from the "rental place"
-If your stereo has 3 tape decks (I've seen a few 'triple deck' units)
-If your "sound meters" are just a sloped, colored piece of plastic with a light bulb that flashes brighter as it gets louder (giving the illusion of the meter going higher)
-If it has an EQ that has several levers connected together (like a nine band, with 3 groups of 3 tied together, so it's really only a 3 band)
-If your components connect together with proprietary connectors
-If they also have waffle grilles and piezo tweeters
-If they came from the "rental place"
-If your stereo has 3 tape decks (I've seen a few 'triple deck' units)
-If your "sound meters" are just a sloped, colored piece of plastic with a light bulb that flashes brighter as it gets louder (giving the illusion of the meter going higher)
-If it has an EQ that has several levers connected together (like a nine band, with 3 groups of 3 tied together, so it's really only a 3 band)
-If your components connect together with proprietary connectors
Old Busted H
the H is for Hotness
When there's a sticker on the front panel bragging about 50 WATTS PER CHANNEL!* 5 CD CHANGER! OMGWTFBBQ SYSTEM!
*Yeah, you just know the asterisk means @10% THD.
*Yeah, you just know the asterisk means @10% THD.
Lazarus Short
Well-Known Member
Yeah, I once saw a Yorx system in an Amway catalog, and the specs (it had specs!) really did rate it at 10% distortion. I told the co-worker who had handed me the catalog to not buy it.
I sincerely thought that she wanted to rock. I mean, she kept saying that she wanted to- without moving her mouth, er, bill or whatever she had.
steerpike2
Super Member
a beat cut switch on the back...What the hell was that switch mean't to do anyway?
It's present on most combination radio-cassette machines with an AM band. The switch changes the frequency of the tape bias/erase oscillator. At certain AM frequencies, the bias oscillator can heterodyne with the AM local oscillator and produce 'beat' tones in the audio band.
You mean like ReVox ??? Ha! You silly twisted boy!
pat5067
minor leaguer
This type of jingoism might make you feel ........ never mind ....
70salesguy
Only 99 easy payments!
When the mice in your house wear earplugs.
TAGO MAGO
Super Member
-If you have check the box it came in to make sure it was not empty.
-If it says "Newave" on the front and is pastel.
-If a 45 hangs off the edges of the platter.
-If the platter has what looks to be black strobe dots embossed in the plastic platter, but no strobe or pitch controls.
-If it has it's own disco lights.
-If it was built into a bar, bed, fake fireplace and/or has shag or pile carpeting.
-If it's big and huge and your arthritic grandmother who can't open a jar of pickles can carry it without complaining.
-If it has BOTH a cassette and 8-track built in.
-If there is one motor controlling all the functions between two dubbing wells.
-If the cassette deck has ALC and brags about it.
-It has a name brand you have always known for producing high quality audio (like Advent or JBL) although the company's address is in Lake Mary, Florida.
-If it says "Newave" on the front and is pastel.
-If a 45 hangs off the edges of the platter.
-If the platter has what looks to be black strobe dots embossed in the plastic platter, but no strobe or pitch controls.
-If it has it's own disco lights.
-If it was built into a bar, bed, fake fireplace and/or has shag or pile carpeting.
-If it's big and huge and your arthritic grandmother who can't open a jar of pickles can carry it without complaining.
-If it has BOTH a cassette and 8-track built in.
-If there is one motor controlling all the functions between two dubbing wells.
-If the cassette deck has ALC and brags about it.
-It has a name brand you have always known for producing high quality audio (like Advent or JBL) although the company's address is in Lake Mary, Florida.
TAGO MAGO
Super Member
Oh I forgot these:
-If your stereo has preset eq settings for jazz, rock, classical, easy and talk.
-If your stereo has more lights than a Vegas slot machine.
-If your stereo has a Karaoke option.
-If your stereo has ambiance controls (such as theater, hall, barrell, empty well, etc.)
-If the speaker boxes have two speakers without a crossover and they designed it to look as if it had four speakers.
All of this basically describes a Aiwa stereo that my stepfather bought to replace a silver Pioneer stereo, Dual turntable and Technics CD player we had in our living room. The components it replaced still work, the Aiwa went off to the dump about five years ago.
-If your stereo has preset eq settings for jazz, rock, classical, easy and talk.
-If your stereo has more lights than a Vegas slot machine.
-If your stereo has a Karaoke option.
-If your stereo has ambiance controls (such as theater, hall, barrell, empty well, etc.)
-If the speaker boxes have two speakers without a crossover and they designed it to look as if it had four speakers.
All of this basically describes a Aiwa stereo that my stepfather bought to replace a silver Pioneer stereo, Dual turntable and Technics CD player we had in our living room. The components it replaced still work, the Aiwa went off to the dump about five years ago.
HeezDeadJim
Entrope Weasel
if it's a huge horn speaker attached to a food truck or other mobile "food stand"...
Vinylman86
Member
If you stereo has a seperate left and right volume control.
Mister Pig
Pigamus Maximus
Sorry dude a lot of high end pre amps did that to eliminate the need for a balance control. Especially if it was a pre-amp with a full dual mono layout.
Regards
Mister Pig
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