• The move to the new server is done. There are some software and database maintenance updates in process. This has us passing the hat around to help out. We appreciate any donations. Seriously, even a dollar helps. The payment page may be found here - https://www.audiokarma.org/support.html

I'm Coming Out

This has been one of the most uplifting threads I've read in a long time. First is the longevity of the poster's relationship, and then with all of the others that have shared their years together as well. The support here has been overwhelming. Kudos to all that shared, and those that support. Now I have to go back to the original post and like it, (and several others in the thread).
 
savatage1973 said:

You all know me as the A-hole construction company guy with the PhD in hard sciences, and a fair amount of opinions/attitude. All of that is true. I just have to "come clean" for myself. I am gay, and my partner and I will celebrate 20 years in October. I know this is awkward--it is for me, but necessary (to me).

I don't know how this will be received, but I am who I am and love who I love.
Click to expand...
Same album here and going on 20 years with my hubby... married in '06 in Canada when the US couldn't figure out this marriage equality thing. Congrats on 20 years and for being so open and honest.

bbqjoe said:
Yay!!!
And I'm a heterosexual, but I never feel the need to admit or announce it because I'm quite comfortable with it.
Click to expand...
I hope I'm not out of line, but I'm not sure how this was meant. I'll assume that it was out of ignorance and not maliciousness. In my experiences, people who say things like this really just don't get it... what it's like to be beaten, killed, fired from jobs or not hired, denied housing, treated differently by health care professionals and law enforcement, considered immoral, suffered abuse from family members, and so many other things that many straight people can't imagine. Fortunately, I have not had to live through those ordeals, but I know those who have. I always wonder how things would have been different if others had known about me, if I'd been more open.
As to why it's important for people to come out, there are so many reasons. For whatever the reason, it shows a lot of trust to reveal the one thing that can turn people against another for simply being honest.
Kudos to you, Savatage1973! And thanks for such an inspiring post.
 
20 yrs in a relationship is something to be proud of, it's not always a bed of roses. My bride and I had 32 awesome yrs together, I hope everyone has so much love in their lives. Not a lot of time to frug things up if busy being happy.
 
First, I'm impressed that you felt this group was important enough that you had to come out here. As others have said, "whatever," but it feels like an honor that you would do this.

Second, Congratulations to you and your partner! We all like good news!
 
David_NC said:
In my experiences, people who say things like this really just don't get it... what it's like to be beaten, killed, fired from jobs or not hired, denied housing, treated differently by health care professionals and law enforcement, considered immoral, suffered abuse from family members, and so many other things that many straight people can't imagine. Fortunately, I have not had to live through those ordeals, but I know those who have. I always wonder how things would have been different if others had known about me, if I'd been more open.
Click to expand...

Don't sweat it. Let that bitterness go--I did years ago. Life isn't necessarily "fair" to anyone. I am just in AWE from the response that this thread has gotten from the AK community--you truly are a great bunch and it is all about "karma".
 
I had two families on my mail route who kicked their sons out of the house because they admitted to being gay. One was still in high school and was taken in by a family member. I still can't wrap my head around that. I have five kids and I could never tell any of them to leave my home and not come back. One of the fathers used to talk to me about it (mailmen are like the local bartender, people tell you everything).

After several years, he finally allowed his son back in the house with his partner. He told his son they were welcome as long as there was no kissing or hugging while they were visiting. It really opened my eyes to the pain and suffering that is caused by these prejudices.
 
savatage1973 said:
I am just in AWE from the response that this thread has gotten from the AK community--you truly are a great bunch and it is all about "karma".
Click to expand...
Perhaps this has much to do with your presence here as a polite, knowledgeable, experienced, generous, and very helpful contributor as well as a generally decent human being. :)

You're still expected to return your library books on time. ;)
 
bobsvinyl said:
I had two families on my mail route who kicked their sons out of the house because they admitted to being gay. One was still in high school and was taken in by a family member. I still can't wrap my head around that. I have five kids and I could never tell any of them to leave my home and not come back. One of the fathers used to talk to me about it (mailmen are like the local bartender, people tell you everything).

After several years, he finally allowed his son back in the house with his partner. He told his son they were welcome as long as there was no kissing or hugging while they were visiting. It really opened my eyes to the pain and suffering that is caused by these prejudices.
Click to expand...

We took in a "stray". We knew him, but after two tours in Iraq, and coming home to a father that would beat on him because he was gay, he was with us--for 5 years. This is real life, and sometimes it works that way.
 
bobsvinyl said:
I could never understand why you would treat anyone differently because of their race, religion or sexual preference. I hope you have many happy years with the person you love.
Click to expand...

You're a very enlightened fella. Other than the details, we're all really the same. Who you love or what you look like doesn't change who you are as a person, though people sure do think it does.
 
THANK YOU--THANK YOU ALL (now I'm just sounding like Joan Crawford) LOL. I knew that AK was pretty "open-minded", but I never guessed to this degree.

20 years is a major milestone for sure, but my parents (thankfully I still have them both) will be 62 years in June. Dad is pushing 90 and Mom is only a few years behind.

In the words of that late/great poet (Jerry Garcia) "What a long strange trip it's been", and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I hail from a hard-core Lithuanian Catholic family--my grandfather died at a very young age of a heart attack, and my grandmother survived him by 30 years. She wore black for an entire year and went to mass every day for that year, and never looked at another man in her surviving years. So my sister and I have kind of "shaken the tree"--I am gay and she is married to a man from Ghana (blacker than the Ace of Spades)--so go figure. It all works. That's all that matters.

But again--I have to say THANK YOU to this community, because it really is a community and you have all proven that.

Maybe someday the rest of the world will catch up--I'll keep hoping.

And it looks like I'm going to have to fire up the Bobcat--we just got another 6" of snow out of nowhere.
 
In the same vein I too have a confession to make.... I am left handed.

I have proudly lived the left handed lifestyle for 58 years. For any who still harbor prejudice and hate just because I am left handed understand that I was born this way.

I always knew that I was left handed but will admit that I sometimes tried to fit into this world dominated by right handed people. In my youth I learned to learn to dribble and shoot a basketball right handed. I also learned to bat right handed after being made to feel useless by a society that would "put the shift on" whenever I came to bat left handed. Something they never do for right handed batters.

While progress is being made there are still too many people who are filled with hate and the idea that being right handed is the only way to be. They try to use God and the Bible to tell me that I am "unnatural". Well thanks to a great pair of parents who always knew and supported my left handedness as well as a great wife of 32 years I am a proud and productive member of Society who has raised two great kids who are also proud and productive members of Society.

All joking aside it should be as easy for a person to live in a Society and Legal system where being accepted as Gay is as easy as being left handed.

Love is Love - The mechanics of it is no one's business as long as it's between two consenting adults.

Congratulations on 20 years and best wishes for many more!
 
Wolverine said:
In the same vein I too have a confession to make.... I am left handed.
Click to expand...

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I am left-handed, and so is my partner, and statistically the gay community has a higher % of left--handed people. I have no clue as to what that means. I guess that we're in our "right" minds. And don't look too hard at your barista at Starbucks this morning, or your wife will get jealous...just kidding, I hope you get the joke.
 
savatage1973 said:
Please don't take this the wrong way, but I am left-handed, and so is my partner, and statistically the gay community has a higher % of left--handed people. I have no clue as to what that means. I guess that we're in our "right" minds. And don't look too hard at your barista at Starbucks this morning, or your wife will get jealous...just kidding, I hope you get the joke.
Click to expand...

No worries my friend and I hope you didn't get offended by my attempt at satire. I know that being left handed in Society is in no way comparable to being Gay. (Who would know that better than you!) I have two Gay brother-in-laws one of whom didn't come out to the family for many years after my wife and I had been married. Unfortunately I saw how the family struggled with the issue (rather than coming at it from the perspective of being a loving family) including the fact that when my wife and I were dating the one who was out went back into the closet when I would come to the house. The funny thing was is that I knew he was Gay after meeting him the first time but seeing how the family treated the issue I kept quiet about it and had to act "surprised" when the family felt comfortable enough to let me in on the "big secret" several months later.

Congratulations again on 20 years!
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom