dwightsplace
New Member
The good lord willing and the creek dont rise.
May as well, can't dance and its too wet to plow.
May as well, can't dance and its too wet to plow.
Quaint Quips & Quotes!
- Thread starter Rome
- Start date
Sandy G
Retired Member
Slicker 'n' Snot on a doorknob...Useless as a screen door on a submarine...That old jalopy couldn't pull a greasy string outta a cat's butt...She's so ugly she'd make a freight train take a dirt road.. That's so nasty, it'd gag a maggot offa gut wagon....He's so dumb, if brains was Gunpowder, he couldn't blow his nose...
pahtcenter77
Well-Known Member
Don't let your mouth write a check your @$$ can't cash.
It's rainin' like a cow pissin' on a flat rock
You're preachin to the choir
It's nothing a good ass whipping wouldn't cure
Keep it under your hat
Beat you like a red headed stepchild
It's gonna be a barn burner
He's as crooked as a dogs' hind leg
Knock you into next week
Couldn't carry a tune in a bucket
A legend in his own mind
Coyote ugly
Kim
You're preachin to the choir
It's nothing a good ass whipping wouldn't cure
Keep it under your hat
Beat you like a red headed stepchild
It's gonna be a barn burner
He's as crooked as a dogs' hind leg
Knock you into next week
Couldn't carry a tune in a bucket
A legend in his own mind
Coyote ugly
Kim
Roypercy
Super Member
High as a cat's back (expensive)
Hotter than a 2-dollar pistol (anything literally or figuratively hot)
Slow as Christmas (slow)
If bullsh*t was music, he'd be a brass band (self-explanatory)
So crooked he has to screw his pants on (ditto)
Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs
Useless as tits on a bull
All courtesy of my Dad, who grew up in the hills of Tennessee and has a million of 'em.
Hotter than a 2-dollar pistol (anything literally or figuratively hot)
Slow as Christmas (slow)
If bullsh*t was music, he'd be a brass band (self-explanatory)
So crooked he has to screw his pants on (ditto)
Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs
Useless as tits on a bull
All courtesy of my Dad, who grew up in the hills of Tennessee and has a million of 'em.
pahtcenter77
Well-Known Member
She has a face like the south end of a north bound baboon.
Rome
Holsum Honey Buns
Rome
Holsum Honey Buns
Hi DP!
Like I have said in earlier posts, if I had a dollar for the Lord's willing quote. I can hear my grandmother right now!
True Klassic,
Rome
Rome
Holsum Honey Buns
Sandy!
You continue to amaze me with your down home witicism. I have not heard these before, but man, they are funny!
Great Klassic,
Rome
Rome
Holsum Honey Buns
Ahhhhh Pahtcenter!
We have a contender for the hall of fame of quotes.
This is another one if I had a dollar for all the times I have heard it cited, I would be a rich man.
Hall of Fame Klassic,
Rome
Rome
Holsum Honey Buns
Ahhhhh Kim!
I think we have a winner for turning in the most Hall of Fame quotes.
Man, all of these brings back some memories. I can hear my mother saying something like the "keep it under your hat" quote. She told me once I talked to much. I was just a kid!
I love those old folks!
Great Hall of Fame Klassic,
Rome
Rome
Holsum Honey Buns
Ahhhhhh RP!
Man, those old folks could spout off some stuff that made you take notice.
I have enjoyed this thread & replies so much as some of these bring back some fond memories of listening to my folks in conversation.
That "slow as Christmas" quote was cited by my dad many times when he was ready to do some stuff done using our help.
Ahhh man!
Great Klassic,
Rome
Rome
Holsum Honey Buns
Rome
Holsum Honey Buns
Rome
Holsum Honey Buns
HEHEHEHE!
Tboat4, your dad must have been a funny man to have grown up with.
That one is funny. Gotta love the old folks... :thmbsp:
Funny Klassic,
Rome
fotno
Lunatic Member
Every region has its own colorful language, but I'd be willing to bet that Southern English has a few more than its share. A couple from 'round here...
An old plumber friend of mine was arguing with his helper one day. They were actually good friends and were always "going on" with each other, but on this occasion the helper was standing his ground about his opinion, and challenged the plumber to prove him wrong. The plumber got a little hot, and threatened to "raise a knot up" on the helper's head. The helper looked his boss-man dead in the eye and said; "You'd rather sh*t in your Mama's best frying pan!"
"Jugue" - Sounds like Fugue: An Appalachian mountain word meaning to press, jab or stamp firmly and with authority. Ex: "Ray needed that likker' down the mountain in a hurry, so he jugue'd the gas pedal in that old Ford and got on down the road."
An old plumber friend of mine was arguing with his helper one day. They were actually good friends and were always "going on" with each other, but on this occasion the helper was standing his ground about his opinion, and challenged the plumber to prove him wrong. The plumber got a little hot, and threatened to "raise a knot up" on the helper's head. The helper looked his boss-man dead in the eye and said; "You'd rather sh*t in your Mama's best frying pan!"
"Jugue" - Sounds like Fugue: An Appalachian mountain word meaning to press, jab or stamp firmly and with authority. Ex: "Ray needed that likker' down the mountain in a hurry, so he jugue'd the gas pedal in that old Ford and got on down the road."
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