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Sobriety, something new for me...

Thanks everyone. I have had my addictions over the years. Drugs were actually the easiest things to kick. I did the heroin thing as a teen for about 4 years. My best friend died literally in my arms and that cleaned me up for about 25 years. Then with the major onset of thoracic disc injury, coupled with knee problems, alcohol became a refuge.

While I did many things when I was out of my skull, driving drunk was the one line I wouldn't cross. I won't take other's lives in my hands.

The only real problem for me now is that just about the time I decided to get sober I also got the mother of all flu virus'. Both are slowly ebbing though.

I have been lucky in one way over the years. My body has a weird constitution. It is not inclined to stay addicted to anything if I need to quit. When I quit heroin, cocaine (strong mental addiction also as a kid), and later party drugs after I got into raving (again staying clear of any and all offers there too), my body would give me a stern lecture by way of a pretty gnarly few days of moderate to severe flu symptoms and then I would go about my day.

Today I was in Lucky's buying juice and I looked down the alcohol aisle and I had NO interest or desire. Also the funniest part? I really dislike the taste of alcohol. My "poison" of choice was Everclear (95% ethanol) or Fandango from Mexico (96% ethanol). Have to drink both with a chaser. But it was fast with no flavor if done right.

Again thanks for all your kind words. I will keep at it again tonight and tomorrow, and the day after that et. al....
 
Good on ya.:thmbsp:

Like the others have said, One Day at a Time. And to expand on that, don't think of it as you can't drink for the rest of your life, that is too hard to imagine. Just don't drink today, thats it. No matter what, don't drink. Make your sobriety the most important thing each day.

I also agree with some of the others, try different AA meetings until you find one that fits you.

Early on, I asked a guy how long I needed to attend meetings. He said, Go to meetings until meetings is where you want to be. And the most important ones to attend are the ones you don't want to. Following this suggestion saved my life, I have no doubt about it.

One other thing, when your mind tells you it is ok to take a drink, don't listen to it. Your mind is not your best friend and it will kill you.:yes:
 
Congratulations! You and your liver are three days healthier and not taking a drink has certainly not caused you any harm.
 
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Congratulations. I can't really think of anybody that has benefitted from drinking, but I can think of many that have by not.
 
I may try another meeting tomorrow and see if it works better. Tomorrow is another day under the belt.

My dad drank for about 15 years straight and because my mom threatened divorce (and actually went through with it, my eldest sibling is technically a bastard, but they did remarry) he quit. Eventually after about a dozen years he learned to drink responsibly and actually socially. I NEVER once saw him even slightly less than fully together. I think he would nurse a single malt shot all night. But unlike him, I still don't like the taste. So that's in my favor.

I'll keep you informed.
 
Ski said:
Congratulations. I can't really think of anybody that has benefitted from drinking, but I can think of many that have by not.
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Depends on how you define "benefitted", some of the most fond memories involved drinks and friends.......the jokes, laughs and friendship but its about context. Some things that have never been my thing are drinking alone, from stress or sadness and I have never got into a fight while drinking.
If you drink alone, dont find it fun or find it changes you or forces you to make compromises from safety to finance, relationships, health or even your job then its something you cant do.
I thankfully have never had an issue but I drink every few months so I always see it as fun and a sort of reward. Still I applaud anyone who takes steps to identify and correct a problem with drinking because sadly I know a few folks who are not strong enough to take that step.................and one way or another its gonna end badly for these folks.
 
Take pleasure in just getting through each day without making yourself sick and learn to talk to other people. Need to rap? Send me a message. Drinking isn't fun and it doesn't make you feel good. It just destroys your brain. After 25 years of drinking and getting high, I am happy to have a meal and see my wife everyday. It ended with me learning to communicate and work out my problems. Go see a doctor and spill your guts. Psychiatrist, Therapist, Family doctor, whatever it takes. You may even discover talking is easy once you learn. I hope you stay sober and if you don't then just hop back on the wagon the very next day and make the dry spell longer the next time. I dont know jack about AA as I was lucky enough to chew the ears off some of my friends for a few years but get out there and mix. You are not the only one.
 
Good for you! The key is making the decision - if **you** want it for yourself, there's no stopping you! Staying the course isn't easy, but its obvious that there's plenty of moral support from afar (and near as well, no doubt) to help you around here.
 
I've got over 21 years of sobriety under my belt, one day at a time. Help is out there if you really want it and are open to it. AA isn't for everyone but everyone can take something meaningful and helpful from AA members, if you are open to it and are willing to take a fearless look at yourself.
Best of luck to you.
 
Good move. I lost a dear friend to drinking and substance abuse and am estranged from another. On the bright side, three or four of my old friends have all entered AA and are undeniably better for it.
 
7 days today and I'll say something came way as a reward. I got a gift from a dear old friend I had always wanted.

He didn't know anything about my new sobriety, but as I walked by a piece I had admired since I was a child he told me to load it up and take it home. It is a 5.5' Western Electric Angel with the WE shield sign from the late 1930's. Now I need to figure where to hang it. Once I get it hung up I will be putting up a few pics in the tube audio area. Keep an eye out.
 
I echo much of what has been said here. You obviously get the point. After 20 years being free from booze, I can now have the occasional drink. I watch every drink I have to ensure that I don't backslide. The only thing I would add is to keep your goals realistic. Don't set yourself up for failure and the beckoning of the bottle will subside. Best of luck to you! :thmbsp:
 
Glad to see your still strong! Good for you.
Keep it up,
Jim
 
Mister Tawny said:
I may try another meeting tomorrow and see if it works better. Tomorrow is another day under the belt.

I'll keep you informed.
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Keep at it.

I'm about 14 years chemical free myself.

The worst part is now. Once you stop suppressing all the underlying issues with alcohol and drugs, they come to the surface. When they do, you need expert help and the support of a good friend or two.

It's often it is this sh*t that arises that causes people to relapse. Be curious, brave, leave no part of yourself off limits to that curiosity and be willing to change on deep levels.

We're always addicted to shortcuts; that existential hole we try to fill with substances has to be filled with something else.

As for AA meetings; I found this helpful:

When I was drinking and getting high, I would find a bar or a club filled with the kind of people I wanted to spend time with and I would avoid the bars frequented by folks I couldn't relate to. I took the same approach to finding an AA meeting.

Once iI found the bar (or meeting) that fit me, I'd look for the person there who had what I wanted. In a bar it might be pot. At a meeting, it might be sponsorship or one-on-one support.

Don't give up on AA yet; you've got to shop around for a meeting. I think this is part of the wisdom of "90 meetings in 90 days"--at least it should be. Go to lots of different meetings at first until you feel you've found your home meeting.

Or maybe you never will. I never did.

I've been to a few meetings over the years, but never "joined" one. I've dealt with my issues using different resources.--ones that worked better for me. Although part of me wishes meetings were accessible to me psychologically. I really think the AA system is uniquely precious and affective.--I just couldn't get into it myself.

So keep at it. Not even a day at a time--only a moment at a time. When you're white-knuckling, the thought of a whole day can be enough to make you want to give in. It's the moments you need to get though.

Also, be careful around the ocean. I know you have a new boat. And there's something about the coast that makes people drink a lot, at least in my experience.

Be careful. And realize there's an important difference between suffering that leads to more suffering, and suffering that leads to out of suffering.

And don't forget to have some fun along the way.

Feel free to PM me any time.

---brett
 
Congratulations on 7 days. That's a huge accomplishment. 7 days and you're pretty much done with detox and from what you said your drinks of choice were I'm sure you had some pretty serious withdrawals. I've wrestled with alcohol for years and have had some extended periods of sobriety, 5 years at on point. I've done AA on and off for 16 years, and like you have struggled with alot of it. My best advice, (not that you're asking) echos what a few guys have said about the right group/meeting. 99.9% of the problems I've had with AA usually involve the people, and 99.9% of the time I used that as an excuse to go out and get drunk, (I wanted to anyway). The basic tenets of AA are pretty hard to argue with but drunks are great at finding loopholes. At least I am. If you're in any major city you shouldn't have a problem finding a good meeting that accepts you for who you are - and there are many friends to be made believe it or not.
Bottom line is that you're sober today and I hope that you are tomorrow. Congrats again on a week sober.
Mike
 
Congrats on the progress so far, and good wishes for further success.

One thing that I don't think has been mentioned, but has been a key issue for other folks that I've gone through this with- learn to forgive yourself as completely as possible if you somehow don't live up to your own expectations on any given day. You're loving and respecting yourself enough to make this major effort, try to not allow that to be undermined by being self-critical or overly demanding. I hope that makes sense...to me it's just another aspect of the "one day at a time" thing...don't carry over any disappointment from the previous day, just leave it behind and start anew with the same resolve you began with.

je
 
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