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Sobriety, something new for me...

Urizen said:
One thing I was told many years ago, and it may be controversial, but alcoholism can be a progressive disease.
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Nothing controversial about it, Urizen. It is well accepted by the medical community that alcoholism is in fact a chronic, progressive and, ultimately, fatal disease.
 
Urizen said:
Excellent idea.

I've several close friends and family members who've suffered and recovered from addiction. One thing I was told many years ago, and it may be controversial, but alcoholism can be a progressive disease. For example, a recovering alcoholic who's remained sober relapses and goes on a "bender" after 10 years of sobriety. The disease progresses over that time, even though he's not had a drink for a decade. It's as he'd never stopped drinking, often with disastrous consequences.

I wish you the very best of luck, and congratulations on your continued sobriety.
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I can vouch for this as I have first hand experience...12 years sober at one point and when I picked up again it was as if I had never put down the bottle, worse in fact. Hang in there my fellow sober friends!!!
 
your a good guy :thmbsp:
thats important.
my father was a alcoholic and went to aa and attemped manny times to quit. but he was not able to and it lead up to his death.
take care of yourself like you have been doing, i understand how difficult it can be..
 
Mister Tawny said:
It would appear that my idea for a celebration was at best ill conceived. So on the 6 month date I suppose instead of drinking I'll just have a barbecue instead. Not quite the same impact, but at least the date will be noted, and my life will move forward.
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Please realize this sort of "I can do" on again/off again logic is the most common thing in the world. What's uncommon is getting past it. Your choice would be a huge milestone for you, helping to set the pace for your future. You always have choices. Choosing to drink doesn't mean you're a bad guy, it just means you want to drink more than you want to be sober.
 
This is completely in response to Meggy's post.

As a member of an alcoholic's family, the choice to drink is a bad one. Consider that it is made when sober and it is made with the full knowledge that you can not stop drinking.

Deciding not to drink is a daily decision and a good one for all involved. IMHO!
 
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Urizen said:
One thing I was told many years ago, and it may be controversial, but alcoholism can be a progressive disease. For example, a recovering alcoholic who's remained sober relapses and goes on a "bender" after 10 years of sobriety. The disease progresses over that time, even though he's not had a drink for a decade. It's as he'd never stopped drinking, often with disastrous consequences.
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.....I don't think anything progresses when there's no participation, except maybe for the temptations involved....but, I do think there's a tendency to take up right where you left off with a chemical addiction, once "you" make the decision to fall off the wagon....
 
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Today is the 6 month mark. I am not sure why I bother with this yet, when one year will mean more. But I have made it this far, so maybe a little crowing is in order.

I was surprised to see so many of us here at AK have (or had) addiction problems, until I remembered what my speaker and amp stack looks like. Addiction is a part of much of our makeup. Many of us have channeled it into something at least a little constructive with sound.

Thanks to everyone for all the support. Lets see where I am in another 6 months...
 
Grainger49 said:
This is completely in response to Meggy's post.

As a member of an alcoholic's family, the choice to drink is a bad one. Consider that it is made when sober and it is made with the full knowledge that you can not stop drinking.

Deciding not to drink is a daily decision and a good one for all involved. IMHO!
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I fully agree. I didn't mean in any way that choosing to drink is a good decision, it just means you're not ready to stop.

A little tidbit: When I was drinking I'd look in the mirror every single morning (after puking), and say "this is going to kill you". Then I'd say, "Yeah, but not today", and keep on going. Point being is when you're drinking (at that level), your can't make rational decisions, even if you want to and/or even if you know the right choice.

You're doing great MT. Keep it up. You know you can.
 
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Mister Tawny said:
Today is the 6 month mark. I am not sure why I bother with this yet, when one year will mean more. But I have made it this far, so maybe a little crowing is in order.

I was surprised to see so many of us here at AK have (or had) addiction problems, until I remembered what my speaker and amp stack looks like. Addiction is a part of much of our makeup. Many of us have channeled it into something at least a little constructive with sound.

Thanks to everyone for all the support. Lets see where I am in another 6 months...
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It's one step at a time. Congrats on 6 months and stay strong!
 
You're on the right track Mister Tawny. As someone before me said, what you're going through is normal. Get past it and move on. Chances are it will keep happening. When it does, get past it and move on again. Within a year or two those cravings and thoughts will come less and less often and with less and less strength. In time they will most likely become almost non-existent. After a while you will probably look back and have a hard time believing that you actually did all of the things you did. I know when I look back on my past it almost always looks like some kind of weird dream that I had. I don't necessarily regret my past... If I hadn't done what I'd done I wouldn't be who I am now and I like who I am. But my life has definitely changed in a good way for the most part.

If you want to reward yourself go out for a nice meal or buy yourself a nice piece of gear or something. I would also suggest this... Set a really tough goal for yourself (other than sobriety) and achieve it. Working out is always a good one. A year after I quit using I made a promise to myself that I would start actively being healthier. It seemed like an insurmountable task at the time but I worked my ass off at it and it was the best thing I've ever done. I lost over a hundred pounds by working out and eating right. I also became a vegetarian which was also something I always wanted to do (although not for health reasons). Working toward and achieving goals will help you feel good about yourself. It will also take your mind off of thoughts of using and channel that energy in to something more constructive. Just a thought.

Keep up the good work my friend!!!:thmbsp::tresbon:
 
poohsan said:
speaking of rewarding yourself, how's the tug coming along?
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Going on vacation to visit her soon. Lots of plans in the offing too.


Thanks for everything here guys. Still sober and for now planning on staying that way. I went to a gathering of friends yesterday and while they were incredulous about my sobriety (also trying to get me to take just a sip), for the most part it was good. It isn't so much will power, but just trying to keep life in some kind of balance that works for now.
 
Mister Tawny said:
...I went to a gathering of friends yesterday and while they were incredulous about my sobriety (also trying to get me to take just a sip)...
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In order for you to have the best possible chance to be successful in this, one of the most important things you've ever done in your life, you need to surround yourself with people who will help and support you.

Mr. Tawny, as tactfully and as compassionately as I can possible phrase this, if, knowing that you're trying your best to stay sober, they're trying to get you to drink, they're not your friends.
 
I have been an "Alcoholic" for 25+ years ! Addiction is a personal thing , everyone has his or her "addictions" ! I say "Alcoholic" as I have drank heavily since I was 16 years old , and by heavily I mean ; at one point , I was drinking a "Fifth " a night , I got up to leaving 1 inch in the bottom of the second one ! Nightly ! I have stopped 3 times , I refuse to say "QUIT" as I have not ! Currently I drink 8-12 beers 3 times a week , usually Monday night through Thursday night . My "stoppages" have been for about a year, to a year and a half . After my first marriage , I discovered "Cocaine" ! Now , that is an addiction ! At my lowest point , I found myself in the back of my work van , at 6 am , all of my tools gone "to the pawn shop" , no cash , no food , and SICK !
I had a $350.00 a day habit ! I could not support .
I looked around and thought about my situation and realized , There was no-one to blame , but me, and the only one who could pull me out of it was ME !!!!!
I no longer do Cocaine !
I know that is a little Off-Subject ! but like I said , addiction is a personal thing !
I have 2 dead cousins , from drugs mostly , But it is all the same ! You have to learn to control "The Beast" !
I will always be a Cocaine addict ! But I choose not to do it !!!
It is the same with alcohol !
You can never "QUIT" ! You can only , STOP !
I like to think I have my alcohol addiction under "control" but as you have read , I DON"T !!!!
I try to manage it !
I wish you all the luck in the world ! It is all up to you ! People can say "You need support" and "Your family can help" ! But , that is BULLSHIT !
The only one who can help "YOU" is "YOU" !!!!!!!!!!
This will probably piss everyone here off at me , SORRY !
I HAVE BEEN THERE !!! Hell, I am still there to a certain point ! I just know it is only you that can change your behavior !
 
Congratulations. Please keep looking for a support/accountability group. You are not alone (and not all AA groups are alike).
 
Congratulations on making the six month mark Mister Tawny! That's a landmark worth celebrating!

I only made it to 86 days before disappointing myself and falling off the wagon. Something ironic in that number if you've ever worked in the restaurant industry - to 86 a table is to hustle them out in order for it to be turned. I was so disappointed that I couldn't respond here to how great you are doing. That's pretty selfish on my part. I'm consoled with why -- the stress of visiting the inlaws and how set in their ways they are just crawled under my skin and set me off. I hadn't come to grips with that and let myself use that as an excuse to get pissed. That was about thirty days or so ago and got right back on the wagon. Back on the wagon trail!

You've started to build up something meaningful in the bank and when you decide to spend it make sure it's really really worth it. If you do spend it be aware all that crap you've thought you put aside comes flooding back in spades the day after. The day you're hungover.
 
For those of you keeping score, I just added another month on the wagon. It's still a little disconcerting from time to time. But now it's starting to feel normal.

I really want to thank all of you who have helped me get to here.
 
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