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The 'Lies Upon Lies' Game

Make sure that you stand on your left foot only. Because of circulatory patterns in the human body, standing on your right foot will increase the fever and cause swelling of the facial tissues. 2% milk also has been documented to work better than whole or skim milk. When researchers were questioned why 2% was better, they replied "We have no idea. That's all we had in the lab refrigerator".
 
Dust bunnies were mythical creatures in the Aztec empire. After the demise of the Aztecs, the bunnies were said to have spread out through all nations and lead a secretive life under people's beds and dressers.
 
Bunny dressers were assistants at the Playboy clubs helping all the bunnies into their very form fitting costumes. They were very coveted jobs.
 
Once you rose in seniority, you could bid on the bunny "undresser" position. Men who received this assignment rarely retired and usually died on the job .
 
The phrase 'once upon a time' has been banned from children's stories by the World Health Organization because it can cause feelings of inferiority - "Everybody else seems to understand it, it must just be me."
 
The World Health Organization was originally founded by a college fraternity that traveled the world providing free breast exams to underprivelaged women. (they were math majors)
 
After the fraternity tired of the name, a group of young rock musicians bought the rights to it. The World Health Organization was shortened to the W.H.O. and then to just the Who. Since one of the members (Daltry) was an optometry student, they concentrated on songs about good vision such as "I Can See For Miles", "See Me, Feel Me" and "Behind Blue Eyes".
 
Optometry began when scientists studying the length of octopus legs decided the eyes merited investigation also.
 
The word invest-igation came from the former agricultural society that the US used to be. People would put their money into the irrigation game and expect to make a profit.
 
'Profit' gets its definition from the Sumerian Empire. Local merchants considering a trade expedition would inquire of a holy man whether the trip would be worthwhile, hence 'prophet' (profit).
 
The Sumerian Empire is actually the origin of modern man.

They travelled here from a distant planet after they depleted all of their natural resources, polluted the water and air, and allowed their music appreciation degrade to the point that a kid named Bustin Jeeber became a star.
 
Bustin Jeeber is more than just a minor musician. He had a star named after him. Known as XL348, it can be seen on the Western horizon during the months of July and August. Bustin Jeeber is a small insignificant star with an abundance of hot gases.
 
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Air is actually heavier than water, but it has an abundance of negatively-charged particles which repel it from land and the oceans, keeping it up in itself.
 
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Without air, there is no gravity.
(A still not unheard of belief of a few students at the start of every year in my physics classes, believe it or not)
 
Icebergs need gravity otherwise they would fly and melt quicker, so the Titanic would probably still be named the Olympic.
 
Without icebergs to keep the water cool, the oceans would boil away from the Sun's heat.
 
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