Write a Limerick

[old_tv_nut]

My mouse clicks were getting erratic.
Corrosion was giving me static.
I sprayed contact cleaner,
Which changed its demeanor.
The improvement was really dramatic.

 

[bobsvinyl]

The temperature here has been fallIn'.
I can hear Old Man Winter a callin'.
Time to rake up the leaves
and to bring in the sheaves
and firewood I soon will be haulin'.

 

[beanoil]

There are monsters in bed with me
They wont leave me alone you see
My ears are ringing
The voices are singing
There's no rest for the pauvre petit

 

[old_tv_nut]

"Alouette, gentille Alouette"
Is the only French I know, you betcha!
So, when beanoil wrote "pauvre petit"
I had to look it up "toot sweet."
My rhyme is rough, but I do getcha.

 

[beanoil]

The limerick, an Irish rhyme
Specific in verse and time
Talented weave in French
Sitting on the breakfast bench
Making others Google the line


My Kenwood sings so fine
Bits and bytes keep in time
I crank it to ten
The sun dims again
Paul Klipsch grins with the win

And the last line there was actually going to be
PW Klipsch grins with a bullshit button inside his coat to annoy any non believers that he and only he can make a sound wave properly leave a corner set speaker with horns
But I digress

 

[old_tv_nut]

Limericks - you just can't explainium;
They rattle around in your cranium.
They allow every wag
To make a quick gag.
It's such fun, that you really can't blamium.

 

[DonQuixote99]

Old Dan had some terrible habits
Taking unfair advantages, damn it!
I think perhaps pain
Whips leather and chains
Might teach him to ask 'fore he grabs it!


(revised AK version)

 

[old_tv_nut]

Behind the house stands a big cactus
Like a choirmaster leading a practice.
It's green as the Grinch
And don't move an inch.
'Twould just stand there if something attacked us.

 

[bobsvinyl]

^^^
Excellent one, otn!

 

[harman/kardon]

Now tell me how good is your tiepin?
A bad one is really a bad thing...
How gorgeous is thine?
Is better than mine?
Excuse me - of course I mean typing!

 

[old_tv_nut]

What godd dose it do to complain
That my finegrs don't fololw my brain?
It is so perplexic
How my tyinpg's dyslexic
While my thoughts are so clear, in the main.

 

[Cadillac Kid]

Back in high school as I reflect on it
Typing class had the IBM Selectric
Distracted by the girl at the next chair
My buddy and I would smirk and stare
Then open to the lesson "1. Sit Erect" ..Kid

**I might of had two many beers last night when I wrote this and did not follow the correct cadence. So I reworked it.

 

[bobsvinyl]

I just never could type well at all.
No idea where my fingers would fall.
If it wasn't for Wite-Out
I sure would not have a doubt
that I'd spend my time out in the hall.

 

[CoogarXR]

If this were a church I'd be deacon
At the keyboard I have to keep peekin'
With two fingers I type
Spewing pages of tripe
Somebody call Mavis Beacon!

 

[DonQuixote99]

My fingers are still deft and agile
It's their memory that's becoming fragile
The intended phrase
Gets lost in the haze
So they guess and what comes out is babel.

 

[old_tv_nut]

Cubs' opponents would rightfully jeer
"They will fold when the Series is near."
This year they stayed in
Till a tenth-inning win.
Maybe Cleveland can do it next year.

 

[bobsvinyl]

This morning I almost had to shout.
My smile had turned into a pout.
My spare hangers were missing.
"Who took them?" I said hissing.
Now my shirts have no where to hang out.

 

[jdurbin1]

There once was a team called the Cubs,
long plagued by collapses and flubs.
After years of failure and not pleasing,
they won the world series this season,
putting an end to the other fans' teasing.


John
(not a Cubs fan but seemed like the right time to recognize)

 

[DonQuixote99]

There was a odd fellow from York
Who stoppered himself with a cork
Much frantic contortion
Could not stop explosion
He just couldn't apply enough torque.

 

[old_tv_nut]

In Boston, it's said, they eat beans.
I'm sure you all know what that means:
After dinner at night
No one dares strike a light;
The report would be heard down in Queens.