Write a Limerick

[DonQuixote99]

Today's International Mother's Day
So don't let your chance slip away.
See what you can do
With a present or two
Expressing love in a nicely way.

DNU

Sorry for stealing half of your Limerick!

DNU

DNU

Amateurs copy; professionals steal.

DNU

 

[Man in Cave]

Inspired in part by the music and words of Have Gun Will Travel: Theme of Paladin
Admittedly the TV show was before my time, but not by much. No offense intended to all the great women-folk AK'ers out there. This one is for you too.

Have song will listen in The Cave of a 'man
Beverage of choice in the palm of the hand
Where we sit in the spot so sweet
Raise a glass to the rumblin' beat
Proudly toast A Kinship shared across this land

"Have gun will travel, reads the card of a man"
I find the first line of the this vintage theme song a particularly relevant metaphor in today's society. That something's been lost.

S.J.

 

[old_tv_nut]

Today's International Mother's Day
So don't let your chance slip away.
See what you can do
With a present or two
Expressing love in a nicely way.

DNU

Sorry for stealing half of your Limerick!

DNU

Retribution is something you should not fear
For repeating words that I wrote here.
You've succeeded in your intent
To express a splendid sentiment,
And imitation is flattery most sincere.

 

[old_tv_nut]

A lady once hired an electrician
To measure the volts in her kitchen.
The moment she kissed him,
She couldn't resist him.
'Twas the cause of her current condition.

 

[Man in Cave]

Memorial Day 2017

Always I'll owe the fallen a defrayal of debt
Who fought for me with neither persuasion nor regret
I rather humbly say thank you
I pray you watch over me too
Am I worthy of the freedom you've sown that I've spent?

S.J.

 

[old_tv_nut]

Breathes there a man with soul so dead
Who never to himself has said
There's nothing happening here I see
And so I guess it's up to me
To try to wake up this old thread?

 

[Hyperion]

A flea and a fly in a flue,
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, "Let us flee!"
"Let us fly," said the flea,
And they flew through a flaw in the flue.

 

[Hyperion]

There once was a barmaid named Gail,
On whose breast was written the price of the ale.
And on her behind, (for the sake of the blind,)
Was the same information in Braille.

 

[old_tv_nut]

There once was a witch in Khartoum
Who got tired of her old-fashioned broom.
But you've never seen her
On her new vacuum cleaner,
For the line cord will reach just one room.

 

[bobsvinyl]

Next week's record sale will be a treat.
The town blocks off the entire street.
I will search and peruse
All the Rock and the Blues
And I know the savings can't be beat.

 

[old_tv_nut]

A girl at the Copacabana
Made her costume from just a bandanna.
The way that she hid
All the parts that she did
Is something I can't understanna.

 

[Hyperion]

There was a young fellow of Wheeling
Endowed with such delicate feeling
When he read on the door,
"Don't spit on the floor"
He jumped up and spat on the ceiling!

 

[Hyperion]

There once was an old man of Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a college professor.

 

[bobsvinyl]

There was a young fellow of Wheeling
Endowed with such delicate feeling
When he read on the door,
"Don't spit on the floor"
He jumped up and spat on the ceiling!

Lionel Ritchie sang with feeling,
His fans found his voice so appealing.
He said he was beat
And had pain in his feet
From always dancing on the ceiling.

 

[harman/kardon]

My favourite month is September,
Nice moments I always remember.
But I hate July!
And do you know why?
'Cause of the sultry heat in my chamber.

 

[bobsvinyl]

I really don't like all this heat.
I sweat from my head to my feet.
Just leave a bag of ice
on my chair would be nice
but I'll end up with a wet seat.

 

[old_tv_nut]

I just got out of my bed
And read what the two above said.
Wouldn't it be neat
To forget about the heat
And sit and think cool thoughts instead!

 

[bobsvinyl]

Let's get Steve to spin records today.
We'll have a Cool Breeze heading our way.
He can adjust the speed
So our sweat doesn't bead
and relief will soon be here to stay.

 

[old_tv_nut]

I've heard about Coriolis force;
It sets breezes blowing of course,
But can records do it?
Well, I never knew it.
Is your turntable a cooling resource?

 

[old_tv_nut]

One time when brunch was delayed
Until the lunch table was laid,
Was I eating two brunches
Or eating two lunches?
Don't know and don't care, I'm afraid.