Ask a stupid question, get a ridiculous answer

[tybrad]

Two States- Texas and Kansas. A misdemeanor in eleven others.

Why does spinach grow muscles?

 

[old_tv_nut]

Because it works out that way.

When did Brussels sprout?

 

[mech986]

Only after the French fry.

In the old hamburger ads, why didn't they ask "Where's the ham?"

 

[mulester7]

Because they attended beef schools.

By the way, where is the ham?

 

[old_tv_nut]

In the wings, with glazed eyes.

So, what did the ham hock when in a pickle?

 

[Hyperion]

I don't know, what is the price of pickled cucumber on the international market?

Have you seen an elephant fly - they are really BIG !

 

[harman/kardon]

No. But I see pigs with wings every time when I'm closing my eyes listening to Frank's "Civilization Phase III".

The best way to fight against fear for flying are two bottles of Schnaps?

 

[Hyperion]

If I wasn't allowed to drink them on the aeroplane - they would have to be awfully good bottles of schnapps to take my mind off such a fear.

The best way to fight fear of extreme roller coasters is not to go on them

 

[old_tv_nut]

Not if it's someone else who is afraid.

Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?

 

[bobsvinyl]

Not if it's someone else who is afraid.

Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?

Porkus Delicti, for one.

Does Monday ever fall on a Wednesday?

 

[MetalFisher]

Porkus Delicti, for one.
Does Monday ever fall on a Wednesday?

No. However, it is always Saturday Morning at Bob Evans (according to some old commercial.)

Is it true that it takes a big man to cry, but it takes an even bigger man to laugh at him for crying?

 

[Hyperion]

I have no idea where you could find men that big.

What kind of brush do you need for striped paint?

 

[noogies]

Zebra hair.

When is yellow?

 

[bobsvinyl]

Directly after magenta.

If you tell an off color story, does that mean it's in black and white?

 

[MetalFisher]

Maybe grayscale. Sometimes maybe the colors are just off in a vintage television sense. Bang on it and the colors come back.

Now here is a question that has been plaguing mankind since 1994 -

How DO they cram all that graham into Golden Grahams cereal?

 

[old_tv_nut]

They replace a vacuum cleaner bag with the cereal box and just suck it all in.

Are Christmas tree lights on the blink when they don't blink?

 

[Hyperion]

No, they're on all the time, OR you have to watch for the blink very carefully.

Do you buy beer, or do you just rent it?

 

[matteos]

No, they're on all the time, OR you have to watch for the blink very carefully.

Do you buy beer, or do you just rent it?

If it's domestic beer, I recycle it.

How soon is now?

 

[old_tv_nut]

If it's on alpha Centauri, in four years.

If a train leaves Boston at 9:00 am, does it get to Rochester before Niagara Falls?

 

[bobsvinyl]

Only if you slowly turn, step by step, inch by inch...

Can listening to a radio make you stronger? Someone told me I'd be able to pick up radio stations.