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Quaint Quips & Quotes!

I thought of a few more:

When a bathroom is needed but not around - "I could just piss like a race horse"

When someone was up to mischief - "He's playing with a hornets nest"

When the kids stood in front of the TV my mom would yell - " Move, your father was not a glass blower"

And no explaination need for these:

"Quicker than greased Lightnin' "

"So good she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch"

"Built like a brick sh--house"

"When hells freezes over"

And yes you could say I grew up in a functionally disfunctional household.
 
tshoejohn said:
"It's not the fall that kills you, it’s the sudden stop at the end"
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Now, this one is a hall of fame classic. It has been around for some time & still tickles the funny bone.


tshoejohn said:
One for leaving in a hurry (similar to “Off I go..”):

“I’m off like a prom dress”

(This could also be used for removing something rapidly)
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Funny one Tshoejohn!

tshoejohn said:
My grandpa’s dog would drag his butt across the carpet he would say he is “riding his tricycle”
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I have seen my share of pooches doing just this. It is the funniest thing. :D

Hall of Fame Klassic,
Rome
 
kangatoy said:
I thought of a few more:

When a bathroom is needed but not around - "I could just piss like a race horse"

When someone was up to mischief - "He's playing with a hornets nest"

When the kids stood in front of the TV my mom would yell - " Move, your father was not a glass blower"

And no explaination need for these:
"I could just piss like a race horse"

"Quicker than greased Lightnin' "

"So good she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch"

"Built like a brick sh--house"

"When hells freezes over"

And yes you could say I grew up in a functionally disfunctional household.
Click to expand...

HEHEHE Kangatoy, so did I & I still doing OK! :thmbsp:
Ahhhhh, we have another contender for the Hall of Fame with these:

"Quicker than greased Lightnin' "

"So good she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch"

"Built like a brick sh--house"

"When hells freezes over"

If I only had a dollar, people. These are top shelf classics that are part of our growing up & entering manhood. I heard each of these so much. Wow!, brings back some fond memories of my folks & friends.

Sentimental Hall of Fame Klassic,
Rome
 
I use to quote this around my friends & ex-wife.

"My **** is harder than a pound of jaw breakers (candy)"!

Funny Klassic right there.. :yes:
 
Here Here Urizen!
Thank you so much for the accolade. I am just trying to have some fun & could not have done it without the great sentiments & klassic people. This place is where its at... :yes:

Graciously Klassic,
Rome
 
My dad had a few:
"That guys brain is like a bb in a boxcar."
"Youll find sympathy in the dictionary between sh*t and syphyllus."
"Wish in one hand and sh*t in the other and see which one gets full first."
"Your chances are slim and none,and slim just left the room."
"Youve got 32 teeth,wanna try for none?"
"Im so hungry Id eat the a**hole out of a dead skunk."
Jimmy
 
2DualsNotEnough said:
My dad had a few:
"That guys brain is like a bb in a boxcar."
"Youll find sympathy in the dictionary between sh*t and syphyllus."
"Wish in one hand and sh*t in the other and see which one gets full first."
"Your chances are slim and none,and slim just left the room."
"Youve got 32 teeth,wanna try for none?"
"Im so hungry Id eat the a**hole out of a dead skunk."
Jimmy
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Ahhhhh Jimmy!
The old folks sure could spout off some funny stuff!
These are certainly funny & this one is a true classic & is hall of fame caliber..
"Wish in one hand and sh*t in the other and see which one gets full first."
:D

Hall of Fame Klassic,
Rome
 
It's so quiet you could hear a mouse fart...

I'm so hungry I could eat a sow and seven piglets and run the boar half to death...

Grinning like a cow eating sawberries...

Once again, courtesy of my Dad, who gets surgery tomorrow... Send good vibes!

Roy
 
This one came from Mark and Brian on KLOS in Los Angeles:
The chances of that are somewhere between slim and "get out of my office."
 
Roypercy said:
It's so quiet you could hear a mouse fart...

I'm so hungry I could eat a sow and seven piglets and run the boar half to death...

Grinning like a cow eating sawberries...

Once again, courtesy of my Dad, who gets surgery tomorrow... Send good vibes!

Roy
Click to expand...

Ahhhhhh Roy!
You have my sentiment of well wishes for your dad's surgery. Gotta love the old folks wit. You have to be an OK guy, in that, we both share Roy in our names... :thmbsp:

I like the mouse fart quote.
Funny Klassic,
Rome
 
kangatoy said:
Rome here's one as a question.

Have you ever heard a California barking spider? Know what one is?
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Hi Kangatoy!
Have not heard of a barking spider KT & tell me what one is... :scratch2:
Since I am from Texas, could it be a West Coast thing? :D

Waiting to verify Klassic,
Rome
 
dr*audio said:
This one came from Mark and Brian on KLOS in Los Angeles:
The chances of that are somewhere between slim and "get out of my office."
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Hi Dr*Audio!
I think that quote has a cousin that goes like this, "when hell freezes over."
HEHEHE

Funny Klassic from the Dubbya Ceeee, :thmbsp:
Rome
 
I have heard the one “until the cows come home” for years, does anyone know the origin of this? Why wouldn’t the cows come home? (or what took them so long)
 
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