I think everyone is aware that every manufacture that I remember list the ML or MR profiles as rating the most hours of all other profiles before replacement time.
The ML/MR's unique shape actually has 3 failure modes:
1) The minor radius is worn into a contact flat, causing an increase in 2H distortion (~100-200 hours). Some folks might replace at this point, but I personally consider this "broken in". 2H gradually increases after this as the contact patch grows.
2) The two contact flats merge at the tip, which starts to hit bottom on some records (~300-600 hours). Hitting bottom causes an increase in noise and a loss of imaging specificity on some records, and a dramatic increase in 2H, yet the actual 2H level is still no worse than a typical new elliptical. I would personally replace it at this point, but many folks continue playing since the distortion is still reasonable.
3) The tip rides on the bottom, getting wider as the contact flats wear higher and wider. Eventually, the ridge itself is worn away (~2000+ hours). I have never played an ML to this point but I've seen some that have been.
What's the difference between wear and damage? Give it enough time and the Charging Bull of New York will become an ox.
I define damage as going beyond the point of plastic deformation of the vinyl. In my tests this mainly seems to happen due to mistracking, but the shaving of the HF peaks by the SAS could also be called damage since they are not worn smooth but actually displaced and removed.
One thing I discovered in these tests is that almost all records have "grainy patches" on the leading edges of high modulation waveforms. These grainy patches are not part of the music, but an artifact of some part of the record production process, likely plating. They end up getting "smoothed over" by the stylus in most places, but in some places the stylus digs in and ploughs bits of them away. Since they are not part of the music I have a hard time saying that removing them is damage.
A stylus that has little wear, tracking well shouldn't damage a record as much as one that is worn and mistracking,
Yes, I believe proper tracking is the key to minimizing both stylus and record wear.