Tips to run up your AK post count ??
- Thread starter Snade
- Start date
pahtcenter77
Well-Known Member
Rats. No toilet paper here either.
Holst
Addicted Member
Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very
attractive, very well built, sexy blonde woman arrived and bet twenty
thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm
completely nude."
With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and yelled,
"Mama needs new clothes!"
Then she hollered..."YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She jumped up and
down and hugged each of the dealers.
She then picked up all the money and clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers just stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I don't know, I thought YOU were watching!"
Moral: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.
attractive, very well built, sexy blonde woman arrived and bet twenty
thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm
completely nude."
With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and yelled,
"Mama needs new clothes!"
Then she hollered..."YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She jumped up and
down and hugged each of the dealers.
She then picked up all the money and clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers just stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I don't know, I thought YOU were watching!"
Moral: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.
Holst
Addicted Member
A farmer had 5 female pigs and, since times were tough, he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them. While at the fair, he met another farmer who owned 5 male pigs. After talking, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50. They lived 60 miles away from each other, so they agreed to drive thiry miles and find a field in which to mate the pigs. The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 a.m., loaded the pigs in the family station wagon (which was the only vehicle they had) and drove the 30 miles. While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer, "How will I know if they are pregnant?" The other farmer replied, "If they're in the grass grazing in the morning, they're pregnant. If they're rolling in the mud, they're not." The next morning they were rolling in the mud, so he hosed them off, called the other farmer, loaded them in the station wagon and proceeded to try again. The following morning, in the mud again! The next morning, in the mud again! This continued all week until the farmer was so tired he couldn't get out of bed. He called to his wife, "Honey, please look outside and tell me if the pigs are in the mud or in the field grazing." His wife looked out the window and yelled back, "Neither, they're in the station wagon and one of them is honking the horn."
Holst
Addicted Member
A man lay spread out over three seats in the second row of a
movie theater. As he lay there breathing heavily, an usher
came over and said, "That's very rude of you, sir, taking up
three seats. Didn't you learn any manners? Where did you come
from?"
The man looked up helplessly and said, "The balcony!"
movie theater. As he lay there breathing heavily, an usher
came over and said, "That's very rude of you, sir, taking up
three seats. Didn't you learn any manners? Where did you come
from?"
The man looked up helplessly and said, "The balcony!"
pahtcenter77
Well-Known Member
Lsmft
Holst
Addicted Member
I found this online
How to buy a stero
1. Carefully calculate power requirements, based on room dimensions, etc. Multiply by a factor of 100.
2. The ideal system should have as many lights as possible, preferably blinking and flashing in time with the music.
3. The components should all have black metal finish, and generally look very cool.
4. The system should be broken up into as many components as possible. (e.g. pre-amp, pre-pre-amp, pre-menstrual-amp, post-amp, post-menopause-amp, etc.)
5. The most important part of a stereo system is the speakers, they should look very cool. Size and number of sub-speakers and varieties of components pointed at the listener is important. (e.g. tweeters, hooters, sub-woofers, super-sub-woofers, seismic noise generators, etc.)
6. The system should resemble the cockpit of an F16 or 757 aircraft; the more knobs and dials you can turn, the better.
7. The system should have full remote control capability, including over the mobile auto cellular phone so that the stereo can be playing as you get home.
8. Should have the capability of playing different music in every room of the house.
9. Components should have a cool names; this means no department store brands.
10. The complete set-up should put a major recording studio or large radio station to shame. After all, you may be trying to duplicate the exciting feeling of being at a heavy metal concert in a football stadium with 70,000 screaming fans.
11. Having state-of-the-art equipment is not enough. You should be a year or two ahead of everyone else. Equipment over the warranty period is obsolete and should be disposed of promptly.
12. The most important factor--out of everyone you know who owns stereo equipment, yours should be better.
How to buy a stero
1. Carefully calculate power requirements, based on room dimensions, etc. Multiply by a factor of 100.
2. The ideal system should have as many lights as possible, preferably blinking and flashing in time with the music.
3. The components should all have black metal finish, and generally look very cool.
4. The system should be broken up into as many components as possible. (e.g. pre-amp, pre-pre-amp, pre-menstrual-amp, post-amp, post-menopause-amp, etc.)
5. The most important part of a stereo system is the speakers, they should look very cool. Size and number of sub-speakers and varieties of components pointed at the listener is important. (e.g. tweeters, hooters, sub-woofers, super-sub-woofers, seismic noise generators, etc.)
6. The system should resemble the cockpit of an F16 or 757 aircraft; the more knobs and dials you can turn, the better.
7. The system should have full remote control capability, including over the mobile auto cellular phone so that the stereo can be playing as you get home.
8. Should have the capability of playing different music in every room of the house.
9. Components should have a cool names; this means no department store brands.
10. The complete set-up should put a major recording studio or large radio station to shame. After all, you may be trying to duplicate the exciting feeling of being at a heavy metal concert in a football stadium with 70,000 screaming fans.
11. Having state-of-the-art equipment is not enough. You should be a year or two ahead of everyone else. Equipment over the warranty period is obsolete and should be disposed of promptly.
12. The most important factor--out of everyone you know who owns stereo equipment, yours should be better.
