Write a Limerick

[harman/kardon]

"Word never absurd, though statement may be blurred,
You will never know where it lead,
Unlike a pathway in life,
Not full of trouble and strife,
Each sentence committed like a fresh new seed."

(bogle111)

 

[bobsvinyl]

Every morning I open my eyes,
take a few seconds and then I rise.
It's a great day to live.
See what life has to give.
I hope it includes burgers and fries.

 

[bobsvinyl]

A man suffered from audiophilus.
He received it from a dirty stylus.
He also had a fever
from a bad cantilever.
Make sure that you keep him far away from us.

 

[CoogarXR]

I'll tell you 'bout Mr. Janovski
His peter was hard as Swarovski
A classical whacker
From swan lake to nut cracker
Women gathered to see him "Tchaikovsky"

 

[harman/kardon]

(bogle111, Wales, April 14, 2013)

"Today windy rain, not like in Spain,
There's no telling what the Welsh Dragon has in store,
This afternoon it was sunny,
For me and my honey,
Now clouding over, some heavy rain we are having more."

 

[Laid_back]

An audiophile's new McIntosh amp
Was pumping out watts like a champ.
But a bad cap' went BOOM!
And smoke filled the room
And suddenly his pants were all damp.

 

[DonQuixote99]

Welcome, laid_back!

 

[old_tv_nut]

"Welcome, laid_back"
Was DQ99's crack.
But his single line
Although it was fine,
Was not on the limerick track.

 

[harman/kardon]

"Reports are retorts, mine are new sports,
They come over me as easy as pie,
I will tell the truth,
And try to be cooth,
But to rhyme I may have to tell a lie."

(bogle111)

 

[Hyperion]

There was a young man from Leeds,
who swallowed a packet of seeds,
in less than an hour,
his face was a flower,
and his arse was all covered with weeds.

 

[old_tv_nut]

When making sandwiches don't be shy
With the meat; I'll tell you why.
Cold cut generosity
Is the thing I want to see:
Pastrami coming through the rye.

(with apologies to Allan Sherman and Robert Burns)

 

[harman/kardon]

"Much too much, from Screaming Lord Such,
For he had a record or two,
They weren't a big hit,
In fact, pretty sh*t,
And none in number, wouldn't have been too few."

(bogle111)

 

[Hyperion]

Superb Chris! - a great one from Pete

 

[bobsvinyl]

I'm not too fond of using cell phones,
all of those beeps, vibrations and tones.
I poke at one key
but I hit two or three.
My fingers must have very big bones.

 

[Hyperion]

Superb Bob!

 

[CoogarXR]

While out in the shop with my ale,
Drank so much my senses did veil
Worked a little too hard
Smashed my hand like a 'tard
You can tell by my black fingernail

 

[DonQuixote99]

When you're out to build or to fix
To beer and wine always say nix
Want refreshing reviver?
Use a virgin screwdriver
'Cause booze and tools do not mix!

 

[CoogarXR]

Thanks to ol' Don for the urgin'
To remain ever dry as a surgeon
But to women and booze
You can never loose
If you grab one that isn't a virgin

 

[oldgringo]

Here's one of it's time and place. In the 60s the UK imported tons and tons of South African grapes - many of which being known as "Cape Grapes". So:

There once was a lad from The Cape,
Who 'had it away' with an ape;
The result was quite horrid,
All bum and no forehead;
And one of his balls was a grape.

Cheers, og

 

[CoogarXR]

There he is plucking cans from the highway
And his name is pronounced Don Kee-Ho-Tay
He'll go quite psychotic
If you call him Quick-Sotik
And chase you barefoot 'round the beltway

There's more to be said of OldGringo
Who chases pink like a flamingo
Watch out, all you ladies
He'll call you his babies
And eat you like he was a dingo