Write a Limerick

[oldgringo]

CougarXR fulfilled his main dream,
By inventing a jerk-off machine;
But, on the 99th stroke,
The gosh-darned thing broke,
And whipped his balls to cream.

Cheers, og

 

[Hyperion]

CougarXR fulfilled his main dream,
By inventing a jerk-off machine;
But, on the 99th stroke,
The gosh-darned thing broke,
And whipped his balls to cream.

Cheers, og

Nicely cleaned up og

 

[DonQuixote99]

A cat name of CougarXR
Said his critics were going too far--
"Why, I'm sweetness and joy,
I've the heart of a boy,
I keep it right here in a jar!"

 

[BigElCat]

A limerick is not like a haiku.
It should have no deep meaning for you.
It comes from the gut,
it's laced with smut.
And hopefully it ain't even true.

 

[old_tv_nut]

To make a limerick go without hitches
And put the reader in comical stitches
Takes good timin'
And good rhymin',
So these last lines can sometimes be problems.

 

[harman/kardon]

"True for the crew, but not for a few,
For some of us like a breakaway,
Fed up with the norm,
We have a grey matter storm,
Having had enough, we just want to have a say."

(bogle111)

 

[bobsvinyl]

Sometimes I just have to come out and say
how demon vinyl holds me in it's sway.
The new needle is waiting
the urge isn't abating
as I jones over each Record Store Day.

 

[Hyperion]

There was a young lady of Niger
who smiled as she rode on a tiger;
They returned from the ride
with the lady inside,
and the smile on the face of the tiger.

 

[bobsvinyl]

There was a man who just loved to eat
not with his hands, he ate with bare feet.
He could use fork and knife.
Practiced it his whole life.
I'll shake his foot if we ever meet.

 

[harman/kardon]

Very nice one, John!

 

[CoogarXR]

I'm loving our limerick battle!
I herded you in just like cattle
The thread was too quiet
So I started a riot
And yours were the cages I rattled

 

[oldgringo]

When you make up a tale to save face;
You cease to perform with good grace;
Waiting for arrows to land,
Then painting bullseyes, so grand;
Only gets us to speed up the chase.

Cheers, og

 

[harman/kardon]

"Matter not 'tis only snot,
That is produced by my very runny nose,
Sometimes like the Nile,
But I daren't smile,
You don't want to hear it when it blows."

(bogle111)

 

[bobsvinyl]

An AKer, SuperjazzyJa
drove a truck to get his hard earned pay.
He would wait countless hours
at the Sheraton Towers
then they'd give his f%&$ing load away.

 

[CoogarXR]

Poor JazzyJa's wait is unceasing
His blood pressure ever increasing
But near the hotel
There are hoes that won't tell
'Bout the other big loads he's releasing

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

An AKer, SuperjazzJa
drove a truck to get his hard earned pay.
He would wait countless hours
at the Sheraton Towers
then they'd give his f%&$ing load away.

That's just what happened.

 

[Sandy G]

There was a young Scot of the Way,
Who Buggered his Father one Day.
Saying, "I Like it Rather, to Stuff it up Father,
For He's Clean & there's Nothing To Pay..
I'm Back, you Biaches, I'm BACK..

 

[Sandy G]

All the Lady Apes RAN from King Kong,
For his Dong was UNSPEAKABLY long.
But a friendly Giraffe Quaffed his Yard & a Half,
And Exstatically burst into Song !

 

[dcmfan]

You guys are all really good
With rhymes that make me spit food
On the front of my jeans
And computer screens
Read with my mouth shut, I should!

 

[harman/kardon]

Seit langem verfolg ich den Faden,
An nen Limerick will ich mich wagen,
Auf Deutsch geht es nur,
Mein Englisch still poor,
Der Versuch hier, er lässt mich verzagen.

(Since a long time I'm following the thread, I dare now to write a Limerick, only in German it is possible, my English still poor, this attempt here makes me despondent.)

At least the rhymes are correct...