Write a Limerick

[bobsvinyl]

Flushing records can be a real pain,
causes rupture of the water main.
I throw a cartridge down, too,
I'm Shure a Grado will do.
Heavy Metal will soon clear the drain.

 

[likebike23]

Bobsvinyl, you should be ashamed
for flushing records down the drain.
There has to be something to play
on all the Crosleys sold today.
Better those than Motorhead's "Ace of Spades".

 

[bobsvinyl]

I flush my records to wash them well.
You could call it the Spin-Clean from hell.
Lysol scrubs the interior
makes the album superior.
The toil let's them have a nice smell.

 

[CoogarXR]

I ran out of records to toss
So I flushed all my tapes like a boss
There was much tribulation
At the sewage lift station
'Cuz it's plugged up with audio dross

 

[likebike23]

Cleaning records: you're doing it wrong.
Tergitol and ultrasonic baths take too long.
Use the "Spin Clean from hell".
It'll clean those records well,
and it's even better when you add water from your bong.

 

[Hyperion]

The birthday that's best, some agree
Is not the one when you were three.
Each age is the best
The wise will attest
And the past is a fait accompli.

 

[Hyperion]

There Once was a Man called Reg
Who Went with a Girl in a Hedge
Along came his wife
With a big Carving Knife
And cut off his meat and two veg.

 

[bobsvinyl]

A hot dog is sometimes called a wiener.
It's not meat it's kind of inbetweener.
There is corn meal in there
some intestines and hair.
Health Department gave a misdemeanor.

 

[bobsvinyl]

A mirror makes me pause with reflection.
What's life and what the hell's the connection?
Am I just some warm meat
like a microwave treat?
Please lock me up for my own protection.

 

[CoogarXR]

There once was a chick named June Cleaver
Who sought out the best pain reliever
She wore a big frown
Every time she sat down
Because Ward was too hard on the beaver

 

[CoogarXR]

The Queen sometimes known as "Your Highness"
Paid a visit to Saint Thomas Aquinas
But his guards they just blocked her
Said "he's not that kind of doctor!"
When she asked him 'bout feminine dryness

 

[bobsvinyl]

A great darkness moved across the land.
Many people were banished and banned.
It was not politicians
or opposing religions.
It was stereo cables they panned.

 

[Man in Cave]

Penelope Snagwich waddled about
Weezing and drooling and reeking of stout
She fell on the bed
And fondled her Ned
Ate him some pie, 'twas a long lonely drought

S.J.

 

[Man in Cave]

Wally Willabee wielded wee ax
At the wily Grey wolves who hunt in packs
He wiggled while staring
While the wolves stood glaring
Wally Willabee wielded wee ax

S.J.

 

[old_tv_nut]

I'll tell you the best thing to do:
Wash all your LPs with shampoo.
Then use a hair dryer
To make Hi-Fi higher.
Now tell me, would I lie to you?

 

[harman/kardon]

I got an AK friend named Steven,
As "Ilikevinyl" you may see him,
He gave me an advice,
Iron it twice,
If you got a record thats uneven.

(I took about 20 minutes to construct this damned stupid Limerick... )

 

[bobsvinyl]

There's a member here named HK or Chris,
Learning English is on his bucket list.
He works hard at translations
with success and frustrations.
He should be highly commended for this.

 

[old_tv_nut]

I once heard advice what to do:
To clean records use Elmer's glue.
Now in humid weather
My discs stick together
And stick to my turntable too.

 

[old_tv_nut]

And one that's off the record:

While photographing the church's interior
He encountered the Mother Superior.
On that fateful day
She bent over to pray,
And the shot only showed her posterior.

 

[Shominy]

a creature of charm is the gerbil
its diet's exclusively herbal
it grazes all day
on bunches of hay
passing gas with an elegant burble.