Write a Limerick

[old_tv_nut]

In the general off-topic forum
Some posts may be lacking decorum.
Don't get in a snit
About things that were writ -
If you don't like 'em, ignore 'em.

 

[Laid_back]

There was a knock at the door of my place
It was my neighbor, with a look of disgrace.
Was my loud music why?
They looked me in the eye
And said 'No, please turn up the bass!'

 

[dcmfan]

My throne room is really quite lush-
I loiter, and never, never rush.
But with low-flow facilities
It requires civilities,
And demands that I frequently flush.

Edited to Add: Oops! Thought I was next in line for the potty limericks.

How about this:

My neighbors are really quite good.
We share our lawnmowers, hoses and food.
But one thing that never changes houses
Is the slumber of our spouses.
Some things need to stay with one brood!

 

[bobsvinyl]

Well, we just reached the 400th post.
Raise your glasses and we'll drink a toast.
Here's to limericks and rhyme
and having a good time
overseas and from east to west coast.

 

[CoogarXR]

There once was a pair of athletes who
Gathered to practice Jiu-Jitsu
A misguided kick
Planted firm to the dick
When one slid in some **** from a Shih-Tzu

 

[old_tv_nut]

I think I will give it a rest.
At bedtime I'm not at my best.
Maybe in the morning
Without any warning
My brain will deliver some jest.

 

[CoogarXR]

You guys don't know what you missed
I wrote the best Limerick on the list!
But the thread was corrupted,
My "like" count interrupted
But I promise you it did exist

 

[CoogarXR]

It's been said "when it rains then it pours"
Said the pimp who had lost all his whores
His caddy got repo'd
Now he works at Home Depot
On 3rd shift he's seen scrubbing the floors

 

[bobsvinyl]

I went through some withdrawal last week.
AK had a security leak.
I took a really deep breath
but I was scared half to death
that the site went extinct so to speak.

 

[harman/kardon]

I lost exactly 29 posts,
Not blaming our marvellous hosts,
Now it is high time:
Raise a glass with wine
And curse the mean internet ghosts.

 

[bobsvinyl]

^^^
Excellent, Chris!

 

[DEAFASABAT]

Twas an evil old shyster on Feepay
Upon those naive and trusting did he prey
I figured out who he was
Turned him in to the fuzz
He went down in the old FBI way

 

[old_tv_nut]

A word to CoogarXR
I'm in the same spot that you are.
My limerick was a winner
But the server ate it for dinner.
(If you believe that, well, hardy-har-har!)

 

[Man in Cave]

"Shiver me timbers" and "Arrrrr...!"
Sayings like these are by far
What lovers do say
They say them all day
And yell them out at the bar

S.J.

 

[old_tv_nut]

Nine thousand's not really a lot,
And most of them have been forgot.
So I'm not boasting;
I'll keep on posting;
But nine thousand is what I have got.

 

[bobsvinyl]

old_TV's post landmark is much sweeter,
with celebrations in Sahuarita.
They said he was adored
and they bronzed his keyboard.
He is now the town's new post count leader.

 

[Man in Cave]

Timmy threw a turntable tantrum
His new record played crackly at'm
He tossed it like a Frisbee
In a childish man-tizzy
And cried as it shattered beside'm

S.J.

 

[johnr66]

There once was a guy named Tim Able
Who bought a brand new turntable
Then he bought himself some vinyl
Wife said, "This had better be final."
So the headphones he did quickly enable

 

[Laid_back]

There once was a guy named Art,
Who cut an incredible fart.
It polluted the hall,
Shook things off the wall,
And his chair blew completely apart.

 

[johnr66]

There once was a man named Frank
Irritating wife, so gave the volume a clockwise yank
His wife grabbed a broom
'said, "I'll knock you outta this room!"
So he turned it down and grabbed a drink until he sank