Write a Limerick

[Jody Thornton]

Bob's Tascam sounded amiss
His tape deck was loaded with hiss

He said, "I might be a rebel"
"Just don't loose my treble"

I'd rather give Dolby a miss.

 

[Jody Thornton]

"Hello Allstate!" Bob grunted,
"My Linn was damaged when it flooded"

Then he really got mad,
when they replaced what he had

With a shiny SL-1200

 

[Jody Thornton]

Henry fell out from his hammock
when his turntable was wreaking some havoc

His discs sounded worn,
the grooves were all torn

'cause the cart that he used was ceramic.

 

[ETLS]

I love listening to Pink Floyd
But some records have had me annoyed
With the clicks and pop
But my listening won't stop
Since new releases have been deployed

 

[Jody Thornton]

Jackie was taping at home
Her deck sounded mushy like foam

The sound was overloaded
and very distorted

I guess she should have used chrome.

 

[Jody Thornton]

Records get damaged of course,
from using too much tracking force

So you spend your life's fortune
to get rid of the distortion

But now your getting a divorce

 

[Jody Thornton]

George bought a new shiny Nak
to give Auto Azimuth a crack

except it worked wrong
and all the highs were gone.

Guess he'd be better off with 8-Track

 

[Jody Thornton]

The items not yet sold at the bazaar,
were bound for the trash and thrown far

'cause the vendor was no stranger
to that cheap ugly changer

whose label read B-S-R

 

[Jody Thornton]

My days with 8-tracks are through
Good memories they provided were few

'cause while I adore
the song on Channel 4

I can still faintly hear track 2.

 

[Jody Thornton]

My belt drive is acting suspect,
with speed issues I cannot correct.

Too much wow - too much flutter
it just makes me shudder

Next time I will switch to direct!

 

[Jody Thornton]

My misaligned tonearm ills fester
I must take time so I can test her.

I never know why,
at the end of each side,

All the singers sound just like Sylvester!

 

[Jody Thornton]

OK ... one more (sorry LOL)

This all in one crap I should jettison
The 8-track and cassette need medicine

It's not in good shape
Held together with Scotch tape

So I now swear off Yorx and Emerson

 

[bobsvinyl]

The damn squirrels have invaded my yard.
Many times in the past we have sparred.
They will eat all the new shoots
ingesting veggies and fruits.
Those varmints should be feathered and tarred.

 

[old_tv_nut]

I wanted to get back to HiFi
When out of the edge of my eye
What did I see?
Oh Lord, mercy me!
A black, feathered squirrel went by!

 

[Cadillac Kid]

I am thinking of changing my avatar
Maybe an animal, stereo or car
Reading that Dr. Fuse forum
The one that lost all decorum
Is two Hot Chicks f@&$ing going too far?

 

[Jody Thornton]

I am thinking of changing my avatar
Maybe an animal, stereo or car
Reading that Dr. Fuse forum
The one that lost all decorum
Is two Hot Chicks f@&$ing going too far?

He forced the moderator's hand,
And that got Cadillac Kid banned

He uploaded to the left side
A lady's bare hyde

At least it was evenly tanned

 

[old_tv_nut]

When close to too far you might wander,
It's a good thing to stop while you ponder:
Should you be really bland,
Or risk being banned,
Or say it by double entendre?

 

[bobsvinyl]

I try to keep my lyrics cleaner.
Well you know that's just my demeanor.
I could spice up my patter
but would it really matter
if I'm clean or slightly obscener?

 

[CoogarXR]

My avatar's already much cleaner
I took down all the pics of my wiener
It's with rapid frequency
That I'm charged with indecency
I don't care, it's just a misdemeanor

 

[Jody Thornton]

Goodbye Record Collector's Guild
It took a lot of effort to build

Sadly spam took its tolls,
'cause those friggin' gasmoles

Kept posting until it was filled