Write a Limerick

[old_tv_nut]

Raking leaves my "lawn" never needs;
But the gravel is home to blown-in seeds.
So, some time in June
Before the monsoon
I have it sprayed to prevent the weeds.

 

[old_tv_nut]

If you went to a limerick convention.
This thread wouldn't get any mention.
Be part of the solution
And make a contribution
And maybe we could get some attention.

 

[harman/kardon]

I'm dreaming of a Christmas so white,
Of a silent and bright Christmas night.
Don't remember the last
One - once in the past...
I think now I deserve one. I'm right?

 

[dyche01]

I woke from a Christmas Eve trance
And surveyed the room with a glance
By the light of the lamp
I saw and old amp
Yes, Santa had left a Marantz!

 

[old_tv_nut]

My printer was giving me heck.
Four hours on the phone with a tech.
But now that it's humming
I recall Christmas is coming.
Guess I'll get there before I'm a wreck.

 

[bobsvinyl]

Zombie Christmas is what I desire
Walking dead gathered around the fire.
A foul stench arose
from their musty old clothes
as they put Aunt Joan in the deep fryer.

 

[old_tv_nut]

To want a Christmas that is ghoulish
Seems to me extremely foolish.
Not only will it stifle laughter,
But you'll find on the day after
Friends will treat you very coolish.

Take a tip from Ebenezer
(Scrooge, that is, that sour old geezer)
Heed the lessons of Christmas ghosts
And old Marley's warnings most
And get the Christmas spirit, please, sir.

 

[onwardjames]

So it's time to stoke the fires of the economy
With purchases and ritualistic monotony
But the point that I shall be arguin'
While I hold my Black Friday Bargain
Is that this ordeal takes too much out of me.

 

[old_tv_nut]

The Christmas frenzy - some deplore it
While they seem to eagerly explore it.
It's tough to listen to their bragging
About how shopping has them dragging.
It seems they secretly adore it.

And so they moan about the fray
That they endure till Christmas day.
If it's so bad, why don't they stop
Instead of shopping til they drop?
Or do they want it just that way?

 

[bobsvinyl]

As a mailman I climbed many hills.
Christmas rush tested all of my skills.
I'd wear out my metatarsals
carrying tons of big parcels
and next will come the credit card bills.

 

[bobsvinyl]

Santa says I put him on the spot
I made his Christmas Eve much too hot
I switched over to propane
the fireplace was insane
I heard him muttering "Tanks a lot!"

 

[old_tv_nut]

Santa may be used to soot,
It covers him from head to foot.
But douse the fire, or oh, by jimney
He never will come down your chimney
And you will get no Christmas loot.

 

[DonQuixote99]

We're haunted by crazed Christmas ghosts,
Our budgeting sense turns to toast,
Because we've been taught
That joy must be bought
And the best things in life cost the most.

 

[onwardjames]

DonQuixote99, that's so true it hurts. Great job.

 

[old_tv_nut]

Let's turn now to holiday wishes
And think of treats that are delicious,
Whether it's Kwanzaa and a feast
Or Seuss's Christmas with roast beast
Or it's Hanukkah and knishes.

There are others celebrated,
Lunar or solar calendar related,
About the solstice, more or less
(Don't know them all, I must confess),
By their adherents highly rated.

So, whatever the situation
In a neighborhood or nation
Let us wish each other best,
A bit of peace to give us rest,
And a happy celebration!

 

[Jody Thornton]

Seems this thread has busted,
for that I'm thoroughly disgusted
It was nowhere to see, buried under page three
I guess the interest has rusted.

 

[harman/kardon]

@Jody Thornton

Today I thought of this lov'ly thread,
And the best way to get that one back,
My English is poor,
So I'm glad that your
Post got that jewel back on the track!

 

[old_tv_nut]

Rust is for things non-organic.
Though it may be a cause for panic
When this thread is bottom-most
It's more like humorous compost
Or encrustation on the Titanic.

 

[DonQuixote99]

When writing a poetic lyric
Perfection is often chimeric
But if words elude you
A close rhyme will do--
It's good enough for a limerick.

 

[bobsvinyl]

Nothing wrong with this thread getting rusty.
It may also get rumpled and dusty.
But the true stalwarts are there
Rhyming words without a care
From San Jose to lower Sandusky.