Write a Limerick

[toxcrusadr]

Bob plucked one and said "What the heck,
I'll try it again on the deck."
With hot oil too high
He heaved a great sigh
"Now my house is on fire, heckin' feck!"

 

[old_tv_nut]

Bob is the burning bird blighter
Who's a legend with every firefighter.
They stand by with the hoses
Whenever he proposes
To fire up his his deep fryer lighter.

 

[bobsvinyl]

Some think I'm a pyromaniac
when I light up the bird on the rack.
I try controlling the fire
as I begin to perspire
And the turkey screams at me, "Get back!!"

 

[bobsvinyl]

Today a such close friend passed away
It has been a very very sad day
As time will go by
Once I will know why
God's decision was doing it that way

Life seems to go by very fast.
Time is like a train flying past.
Our friends pass away.
For them we can pray
And help make the memories last.

 

[old_tv_nut]

Dad started Thanksgiving with napkin placed neatly,
Then folding his hands, said grace sincerely and sweetly;
Then ate like a pig
Till his gut was too big
And failed at belching discretely.

 

[Sandy G]

There once was a man from St. James
Who indulged in the JOLLIEST of Games,
He lighted the brim of his Grandmother's Quim
And LAUGHED as she P*ssed thru the Flames !

 

[Sandy G]

A young lady dining at Crewe
Found an Elephant Dong in her stew
Said the waiter, Don't shout, nor wave it about
Or the others will want one, Too...

 

[Sandy G]

All the Lady Apes ran from King Kong,
For his Dong was UNSPEAKABLY Long...
But a friendly Giraffe, quaffed his Yard & a Half,
And Exctatically burst into Song !

 

[Sandy G]

Roll over Mabel, its better on the Other Side...
We want her Paaanties, We want her Paaaanties, We-hee want her PAAAANTIES, we want her panties, oh Heavens above...

 

[toxcrusadr]

Now Sandy, that last one didn't conform to the official Limerick AABBA format. I don't think you're giving 100% to this job. If only you'd apply yourself!

 

[ETLS]

There once was a runner named Dwight
Who could speed even faster than light.
He set out one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.

 

[ETLS]

There once was a lady named Ferris
Whom nothing could ever embarrass.
‘Til the bath salts one day,
in the tub where she lay,
turned out to be Plaster of Paris.

 

[Nightcleaner]

Adam and Eve in the Garden dwelt,

They were so happy and jolly,
I wonder how they would have felt,

If all the leaves had been Holly!

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/peoplejokes/comedianjokes/maxmillerjokes.html

 

[bobsvinyl]

Today I cleaned up all of the snow.
I was cold from my head to my toe.
It was fluffy and light,
Didn't put up a fight.
It knew it had met up with a pro.

 

[old_tv_nut]

I'm glad I don't have to deal with that slop.
I just view it up on the mountaintop,
And when wires intervene
Between me and the scene
I just erase them with Photoshop.

 

[egellings]

My classroom once had chemists. Chemists it has no more. What they thought was H2O, was H2SO4.

 

[old_tv_nut]

Some of the good ones being posted aren't in limerick form.
A
A
B
B
A

For example, it could go like this:

My classroom had chemists before.
My classroom has chemists no more.
It was labeled H2O,
But it wasn't, and so,
They drank down H2SO4

 

[harman/kardon]

Last month I started to feed
Birdies in the garden which
Need nutrition support
- Became a safe port
For creatures in seek

 

[bobsvinyl]

Tomorrow I'll be at the thrift stores
Looking for the impossible scores.
I hope it's Northern Soul
I will lose all control
and I might pee on the Goodwill's floors.

 

[old_tv_nut]

When expecting finds so grand,
Here's a tip to understand:
Mother always said, you know,
You should go before you go.
Don't risk getting yourself banned.