Dad Jokes

[Jody Thornton]

I caught my son playing with electricity. So I grounded him.
He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly ...

 

[Jody Thornton]

Studies show people are living happier lives, despite showing signs of inflammation.
It's true! Most say they feel swell.

 

[old_tv_nut]

Did you hear the one about the lost mail?
You wouldn't get it anyway.

 

[Hyperion]

Child watches Dad get out of the shower and says -

"Daddy Daddy what are those for"? Dad says "Four?!"

 

[Quadman2]

A father looks up a group of birds on a wire, and asks his 8 year old boy, "Son, if I shot one of the 5 birds above us, how many birds would be left? Now think careful about it!"

The boy smiles, looks at the Dad and replies, "Man, that's an easy, Dad. There'd only be 4 birds left".

"Wrong, boy", laughed the father, "There'd be none left, cause after the first one got shot...they'd be all gone."

The Dad got the look!

Q

 

[Jody Thornton]

What's the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

Attire

 

[Jody Thornton]

First there was tennis elbow. Now doctors discover another sports related injury that affects golfers ...

Forearm

 

[Enophile]

When I chat with Spanish speaking people, I try to use the word "mucho" as often as I can. I means alot to them.

I got home from work and I was trying to figure out what to make for dinner. I had a couple glasses of wine and now I don't care.

 

[Quadman2]

When I chat with Spanish speaking people, I try to use the word "mucho" as often as I can. I means alot to them.

I got home from work and I was trying to figure out what to make for dinner. I had a couple glasses of wine and now I don't care.

Would those "glasses" mentioned be the "two handled" ones, per chance?


Q