Dad Jokes

[Jody Thornton]

Did you hear about the guy who invented the "Knock Knock" joke?
He won the No-Bell Prize

 

[audiotemp]

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anybody can roast beef.

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

Little girl: Daddy, why wasn't Grandma allowed to bring her Italian bread on the plane?

Daddy: It's ciabatta non grata.

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

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View this content on Instagram

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

Why did the male banana fall for the female banana? He found her appealing.

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

My cactus is the best dressed plant. It always looks sharp.

 

[spicer]

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

Why is the beaver so proud of his house?

He made it out of dam fine sticks.

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

What is Sylvester Stallone's favorite ice cream flavor?


Rocky road

What's his favorite song?


"I Love Rocky Road" by Weird Al

 

[Hyperion]

What's the difference between a Buffalo and a Bison? - You can't wash your hands in a Buffalo.

 

[WillVT]

What did the Buffalo say to his boy when he left for college?

Bye Son.

 

[spicer]

You're as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockers.

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

Q: Did you hear about the donut shop owner who witnessed a murder?

A: He's in protective custard.

 

[audiotemp]

How many ears did Captain Kirk have on the original Star Trek series?

A left ear, a right ear, and the final front ear.

 

[nbarber]

I got an email today about how to read maps backwards.
It was spam...

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

What's the best way to pay for Internet?

Tell your provider to bill Gates!

 

[Jody Thornton]

A business man arrives at the hotel check in desk and says to the clerk, "Good Evening. I need to know what room I'm in".
The clerk responds, "Yes sir. You're in the lobby"

 

[Jody Thornton]

Why don't anteaters get sick?

Because they're full of anty bodies