The Great Vinyl Experiment

[Justen]

Heads up!

The next installment of our continuing series "Drunken Redneck Experiments" will be happening tonight... I sure you've all been waiting with baited breathe'.....and let me tell you, your deepest vinyl curiosities will be explored...myths proven or shattered....WARNING ... here be dragons! Perhaps only mental ones, but here they be nonetheless....

 

[markd51]

Heads up!

The next installment of our continuing series "Drunken Redneck Experiments" will be happening tonight... I sure you've all been waiting with baited breathe'.....and let me tell you, your deepest vinyl curiosities will be explored...myths proven or shattered....WARNING ... here be dragons! Perhaps only mental ones, but here they be nonetheless....

Hate to bust your bubble, but "who's deepest vinyl curiosities?" Certainly not mine, and I suggest you do yourself a favor, don't put yourself through the trouble.

Your previous tests prooved absolutely d%ck! What controls did you have, what before, and after tests, with what sort of equipment? Your eyes? Your ears?

You might be having some fun with this, good for you, and I can understand the lighter heart of things, but you're wasting mucho time, and offering nothing, especially for the newbie, who might just be gullible enough to believe what you're doing has merit, or credibility. Trust me, it has absolutely none.

I knew a guy too, who was spraying his LP's with Aerosol Silicone, and he seriously thought he was doing some good, a guy into Audio for 30 years.

A true word of advice, anything, and I mean anything between Stylus, and Groove Wall, is not good, no matter what a person would like to delude themselves into believing. Without any true scientific analysis at the microscopic level, your Windex, or Armour All tests were worthless.

It's certainly your perogative to destroy what ever LPs you see fit, and destroy your Stylus as well, we didn't pay for them, you did.

Please don't try hoodwinking the general public that your methods are approved, just cause you say they are.

As I close, consider, that this forum could be used for much more vaulable things, rather than scewed tests, and false-incorrect information, and advice, and as lately I see in this thread, some choice 4-letter words.

I got ostrasized for coming down on a few, but yet it seems some can say whatever they wish, just because they're subscribers? Time to drop some dimes I'm afraid, as I personally don't need reading other's trash here.

 

[Justen]

You're a serious guy mark....my tests are only to see what truly ruins vinyl, did you miss my point about using good cleaner, or at least a gentle DIY blend? Probably not, since you seem to only see what you'd like to see....

FWIW, I'm not a subscriber, so my coin has no validity in allowing me to say what I want....and while my tests may not be scientifically accurate, however simply by being tested they have more merit than unsubstantiated pontification, which is the slippery slope you dwell on.

This thread was started as a lighthearted response the endless back and forth of the other thread, which makes the claim that these chemicals ruin vinyl. I have yet to see that in real life examples, although I hope to tonight.

If my methods bother you, or my language offends you- you know what? I don't really give a damn....

 

[markd51]

No prob Justen, have as much fun as you like, I like having fun as well, I'm certainly not so straight laced to not see the humor here, but still, I do stick by these valid points I made previously.

If you do truly believe though that your tests held any amount of validity, then speak up.

Nope, I didn't accuse you personally of the choice words previously written, they were written by another here.
I have enough sense not to write them , or subject you, or others to reading them, meaning in truth, I have more respect for you, and others than you maybe assume?

There's nothing that says we can't have fun here, I don't think the moderators are that hard nosed, right?

I've made some erroneous errors in the past, giving incorrect information to people, and have been corrected by those more knowledgeable than I.


I wouldn;t make any type of serious claims to unorthodox products effectively cleaning LPs unless I has accurate, scientific proof.

One thing I hate more than anything, is when I accidently give somebody wrong information about somthing. I like helping people here with good, sensible information, and have absolutely no reluctance to one day trying to help you, or maybe also taking serious help-advice to me as well.

Rock on, and have fun, As I close, just like to wish everyone here a very happy, and safe upcoming holiday. Mark

 

[Justen]

Okay, if you're just now joining us and haven't read the entire thread. PLEASE DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. If you ruin your prize collection of Blue Notes or Shaded Dogs by duplicating these tests, please don't come crying to me!

(Actually I'm only doing all this in hopes VPI will send me a 16.5 to test...hint,hint...)

 

[Justen]

Now, back to a less serious post....

I was basically happy with my initial test and conclusions. But a gauntlet was thrown down, to take the test to the extremes. And it set me to wondering, WTH does ruin vinyl? I don't mean merely not good for it- personally I wouldn't use any of this shiite on my *good* records- I mean, what will render it unplayable?

I didn't want to use the same Partridge family album, figuring that there may be a toxic combination and the previous chemicals would taint the purity of the this precise scientifically controlled experiment (sorry mark, had to throw that in there!). Not to mention I feared for my life from the rabid PF fans if I used another one....

So as I raked leaves this morn, wondering what I could use for my next test that would not raise the ire of AK'rs when- and I'm not making this up- a chariot of gold, drawn by two stallions, one white and one black, came racing through the trailer park and two winged angels of I'm assuming the lord handed me a 12x12 square piece of cardboard. And as I took it, a beam of light shineth down upon it and a deep voice said "this is the chosen one." And I knew I had my test....


Okay, it was really a Dodge Caravan with two big hairy mountain men in it, known to ya'll as Ozmoid & Fotno. And Oz presented this to me, under the guise that it had "come in a box of stuff he bought." Yeah right....

In my heart I know it was really Fotno's- depite that fact that he is a huge hairy guy from deep in the mountains of North Kalinky he has a soft spot for bad 80's pop.

Either way, I knew my search was over.....

 

[Justen]

Fear not you feckin' Milli Vanilli fans! It isn't a original pressing!

*Note that it includes "3 number one singles"

I know that someone's going to give me crap over it though. Whose the MV fan here? Grumpy? Toasted Almond?

 

[jcmjrt]

I think that with this record, you just fake putting some vile stuff on it and the record will be total sh*te.

 

[Justen]

I think that with this record, you just fake putting some vile stuff on it and the record will be total sh*te.

Oddly enough, I never heard any of their stuff, only about what happened. The pretest listen indicates that musically it was shiite... but I want to know what will ruin it, so the science must continue. I just want you all to know what I am willing to endure for both the sake of science and AK.....

 

[Justen]

I was sooooo excited at the possiblities, that as soon as the guys left, I rushed to the laboratory....


Today's contendors....

 

[Justen]

So I heaped a generous helpin' of all the above substances-

WD-40 - I can't imagine this will do much more than make it greasy, but hey, ya'll suggested it!

GooGone- some sort of weird petroleum distallate. I know back when I worked in a laundromat we used that to get baked on roofing tar out of the dryer drums, when roofers would wash & dry there. This stuff serious cleans...

Carb Cleaner, generic- I figure this has a fair chance of melting the vinyl, and my best chance for not having to listen to this GD album EVER again...

Afraid I wouldn't wait long enough, I apply all this crap and take the motorcycle out for a long ride, enjoying fall colors...

 

[tentoze]

Hope you've got a serious throw-away tt set-up to test this one with, sir.

 

[jcmjrt]

and take the motorcycle out for a long ride, enjoying fall colors...

Wish I was there with you. I haven't been out on a good ride in a while....must do something about that!

 

[Holst]

Justin takes a motorcycle ride, meanwhile the chemicals cause Milli Vanilli to burst into flames, destroying his home.

 

[Dan Starnes]

Have any of you ever cut open a water pipe?? The junk in water is enough to kill a person,,,, and never touches my precious LP collection, clean living thru alcohol says I.. very very interesting post. And I was about 12 when The Partridge Family premiered..Susan Dey,, heck yeah,, but Shirley Jones was my fantasy. Carry on.

 

[Justen]

Hope you've got a serious throw-away tt set-up to test this one with, sir.

Money is no object when one is search of truth!

Okay, in reality I have an older cart that, while still useable, isn't worth much and has seen better days...

Matter of fact, here is a photo of the lovingly cleaned and well rinsed Milli Vanilli album playing. What you don't see is my face scrunched up in bitter pain listening to this crap.....no amount of scotch can make this stuff sound good!!! To think Fotno... I mean someone actually bought this. And paid 9.99, according to the sticker...

 

[Justen]

Justin takes a motorcycle ride, meanwhile the chemicals cause Milli Vanilli to burst into flames, destroying his home.

Fear not, the trailer is well insured for the complete value... $6999.00

 

[tentoze]

Money is no object when one is search of truth!

Okay, in reality I have an older cart that, while still useable, isn't worth much and has seen better days...

Matter of fact, here is a photo of the lovingly cleaned and well rinsed Milli Vanilli album playing. What you don't see is my face scrunched up in bitter pain listening to this crap.....no amount of scotch can make this stuff sound good!!! To think Fotno... I mean someone actually bought this. And paid 9.99, according to the sticker...

I'd strongly consider burning the whole assembly, record and all, after your review is completed. But that's just me.

 

[Justen]

How 'bout the reflection here? I've never had this effect before!

 

[wajobu]

Please, no Cowsill records.